Unbeatable Massage

I thought what better way to spend my time than a massage session since I am free. Surprise, surprise.

When I changed I already had a bad feeling that this isn’t going to be great. The girl who led me to the room did not even bother taking away the massage spread on the massage table so I could lie and she did not show me where the towels are or did she show me the cupboard to keep my clothes.

I mean, when it comes to professional massage, generally staffs are very detailed and accommodative. They are out there, ever willing to please. So I thought with this one.

Finally, this aunty walked in. My. She looked ghastly, like someone just walked out of a 70s Hong Kong porn movie! Haha... her hair was curly frizzy shoulder length with 70s make-up all over and she breaths un-refine-ness in every sense. Uh oh.

Sigh. Then I told myself not to judge a book by its cover. This is a hotel’s spa. There has to have quality control.

Yeah right.

She half hearted smiled at me when she entered. She did not bother to inform me there is the usual hole on the massage table to put my face into though it was covered with a layer of clothes. Then she roughly pulled the towel down my torso and undies along. She loudly slathered gallons of oil on my back and started the massage it.

Sigh. She was just massaging me like those men in the KTV cum men spa cum additional service joint {I think}. Just ‘sapu.’ And her touch was not in sequence from one point to the other. It just breaks everywhere. Her motion were hurried. And I remembered saying this to myself, “Oh, this is how a massage goes for those men which is to be quickly done. She can then not waste more time but probably get to the real wanking business.”

I mean, this is the first time the masseur starts massaging me from my back, not from the base of my leg like all that I thought it should be, which would normally gets worked up to my upper torso. What is this? Did I miss somewhere or this is some sort of massage I have never tried? It must be. But she looks like a masseur with 20 years of experience so she should know more than me... right?

She continued with her rough ways, the way she pushes my arms and legs, as if they are pieces of dead meat waiting to be butchered. To some extend I wondered if she was even interested in her work. She continued to slather gallons and gallons of oil { I think if you were stir fry me there and then, I would definitely be the nicest cooked food}{Where did she learn that? License to Grill?}.

She did not make an effort on the pressure points which then got me wondering what was on her mind because she wasn’t all consistent with my left and right. Her touches were all matter-of-fact.

Once she was done with my back, she instructed me to turn and she pulled back my undies with a loud snap which got the left side stuck between my crack!!! Can you bloody beat that? Sigh. She can't be bothered.

She went on kneading me roughly without pressure. I was partly laughing and partly wondering if once upon a time she was one of those massage girls in her heydays with ‘extra services’ at those massage joint because she does look part of it, she speaks part of it and she acts part of it. Hehe...

Her questions were abrupt and has the just-asking-tonation-just-to-make-a-conversation type. Like, “Where are you from?” “Where are you working?” “Why are you here?” “How many children already?” “Can’t conceive?” {But asked in a crude Chinese fashion, “Why, you cannot have children ah?”}, “You swim a lot ah?” {Making reference to my bikini lines} “Is your name Elisabeth?” {Making reference to my E pendant which was loosely hung around my neck}.

Sigh.

When she asked the final question, “How is the massage?”

All I could say is, “It’s ok.”

And I can hear her smiles and said, “Thank you.”

Erkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! I am such a big fat liar. Hehe...

The one last word from her {wow}, “You don’t look Chinese.”

Need I explain?

“Oh, that is because I am under the sun a lot.” Smile. Changed into my clothing.

She answered, “Wah, I very scared the sun oh but you like the sun ah. Why don’t you go swimming outside?” {The pool is on the same floor as the so-called spa}.

“No thank you. It’s cold today because it is drizzling outside if I am not mistaken,” I replied. Just not to be rude.

What do you want me to say? Complain all the way? Ohhh, this is supposed to be a break for me. I don’t want anything or anyone to spoilt it. Hehe... and so, I paid her RM92.40 for 60 minutes of unrefined and chin-chai massage. RM92 to experience massage ala fuck joint. RM92 to be massaged by someone who looks like a 70s Chinese porn star.

Great. Hehe... Jusssssssssssssst great.