Things I Learnt Jan-Jun 2009

Today is the 31st of July. Tomorrow is the 1 Aug. And we are officially 1 more month pass 2nd half of the year.

What have I done to my life?

I am laughing.

I should say for the last 6 months, a lot has happened. And many learnings. While I am a person with attitude, I have indeed officially discarded a few friends out of my list. I guess I don't need crap.

I learnt that to be good at the things I do at work, I need to be very confident in my train of thoughts, my decision and what I say. I must be able to be a good poker player if I am to succeed in the rat race. So far, I am on my way there, I think. Hehe...

I also realised I need to be daring in my believes and dreams. If I dare to dream, I will dare work for it and I will eventually dare to one day reach for it. It's actually simple. And I realised this comes along with perseverance and lots of passion for life. They all have to work together into one big pot.

I also learnt that I must let go but I must never forget. Never forget who betrayed you, never forget what people say, never forget how people make you feel and never forget not to do that to other people. And move on.

I also learnt that there are people in your lives that you must always love from afar. No matter what.

I also learnt that despite how much acting, games and back stabbing people play in the rat race, at the end of the day, the most honest and straight forward person will still prevail in it. Thought the journey may be longer, but it sure pays if you are fair to yourself and the people around you.

Respect to me, is one of the most important thing in life that makes everything works well besides having money and health.

Last but not least, I also learnt that I should not take anything seriously except the love people give me. I should take things easily because life is not worth the anger, frustration or heartache. No one or thing should cause you this grieve.

And there, things I learnt for the past 6 months and still going.

Work Satisfaction

The department is running on an issue about 'work satisfaction' and I honestly feel no one in this world can rob people their right to express their satisfaction or dissatisfaction.

Even if the survey indicates that staffs are generally unhappy, it cannot be that the staffs are later being reprimanded for voicing their feelings. It is then as close to not bother having the survey.

I mean, to many extend I wish to say that to Big L but I guess there is no use to open my gap because,
a) people may think I am trying to be smart
b) Big L always thinks he is definitely smarter than me in every way (and therefore he is the boss and I am not) hehe... and
c) Big L always thinks he is right.

While I try not to touch on this whenever I write as it is as sensitive as politics but I just can't help it. This fingers are just itching to write something. In my humble opinion, it is imperial that people is happy with their job but it is even more imperial that bosses should not 'assume' they are never the root of the problem or want to believe they are not the issue to the satisfaction level. Denial.

In fact, most often than not, it is the boss that is the root to all dissatisfaction. And these bosses are often in denial, again. Exactly like AIDS and those H1N1 and what other nots. People like to believe that it will never be them.

And when reality hits, they still think it is not them. Then they blame that someone, something has not been fair to them. And they still deny it can't be them. And then the claimed they are the victim to a lot of other circumstances.

See.

Example, AIDS don't get you if you did not share needles, or have open sex without condoms, or was not careful with any bloody thing per se. So, bosses generally are responbile to the well being and state of mentality of their staff, like it or not.

And the remarkable part is, everyone thinks being a boss is so easy that they want to one too one day. Hah, everyone wants to be a manager with a fleet of staff reporting to them. But when it comes to motivation and running a happy shop, they start open fire and blame the staff when no one's happy. It is always THE staff who is unreasonable, demanding and childish. It is never them.

But bottomline is, everyone, staff or boss has to remember that the fundamental to a good work place is having the respect for each other for their time, their work, their effort, their motivation, their cooperation, their support and for the bosses, their guidance, their willingness to share, their support, their understanding and their wisdom (if there is any).

It is just so simple.

110 kmph

Malaysian speed limit on the highway needs revamp! What is this stupid 110kmph? People are making faster cars as the century goes and here were are lugging on to 110kmph for the past 25 years.

Do we ever progress in any way?

God!

Maybe they should mandate those politicians to travel within speed limit and let's see if things gets moving on this.

This is life on the slow mo lane, not fast lane and we are apparently looking at Vision 2020. Or is there still a vision going on now?

What's the purpose of a power machine when the limit of 110? Where is the joy of driving? Or these people have already accommodated speed for senior citizens aka retirees?

Make me the Transport Minister and I promise you change! Real change! I will even abolish the tolls and ludicrous potholes!

Malaysia Boleh! Yeahhhh!

*Giggle*

Female Toilet

There are several funny things I noticed in the ladies toilet in my office. And these ladies never ceased to amaze me with the silly things they do. And sometimes, I leave the toilet figuring what happened within the cubicles. Haha...

Sometimes when I walk into empty cubicles, it smells like stale cuttlefish mixed with Malaysian ungrind coffee. Stale smell ferments the entire cubicle. Aik, how did that smell got underneath there at the first place? LOL.

Sometimes however, I noticed 5-6 strands of frizzy pubic hair lying on the dry floor. What? Someone is balding down there? And how did the hair grow up to 2 inches long? I mean, didn’t this person did some grooming at least? Or else how do you explain the 2 inches? Must be a Chinese or Indian girl. But why is she shredding? Or did she have crabs so she has been scratching when finally she has the chance? LOL.

Sometimes too, the lady in the next cubicle next to me pisses as if her pee hole is as big as a water hydrant pipe. It is exactly like someone just turned open a pressured pipe at its maximum velocity and it comes gushing out ferociously. My goodness. And the amount of water that passes through makes me feel that she has a container as a bladder instead. I asked myself if it is because this is the after effect of natural child birth where even the pee hole gets gigantic in diameter. LOL. Sigh.

Why am I again always the person who notices all these and no one else take heed? Or is it that I have this astounding ability to pick or sense the slightest thing at the oddest places and funniest time in the world? I must be right? LOL.

I'm going mad.

Hair Dressers

There is one thing I need to conclude about hair dressers.

The younger generation hair dressers will always, always get my hair correctly blown no matter what. They can be the virgin dresser to wad of hair but they will always get the blowing part correct.

The younger generation of well trained hair dressers can’t beat the skills of the aunty hair dressers when it comes to scrubbing with shampoo suds.

The aunty hair dressers can scrub, scrub and scrub then give you good neck and head massage. No matter which kampung salon you go.

The aunty hair dressers no matter how hard they try to blow your hair with specific instruction, they can never come close to the desired results {and even if they do, trust me, that is a mere stroke of luck. Because when you return the next day for the same effect, they can never conjure that again.} Half of the time, they think they know better not realising they have obsolete hair blowing skills.

Never, ever trust aunty hair dressers with your hair. Unless you don’t mind GI Joe crew cut or looking like the Mamasan of Club De Vegas. Never even think about it. Even if they said they know and refuse to listen to what you got to say. They will never make you look fabulous. So if you are thinking of getting a re-style, I would advice to spend a little more and get to the professional hair stylist who can really do wonders.

{My last nightmare was during Fiona’s wedding dinner where I was one of the bride’s maids. My mum who thought this well known salon in Malacca could do wonders, brought me there because she just attended a course of self grooming, where the lady of the salon gave tips on hair care. I should have been smarter to ask how old she was but I thought it should be fine since she – the hair dresser, gave a talk about grooming.

Oh well, guess what. She took a disturbing 3 hours to get my hair bun!!! When at Evita Peroni, I just need to bring my hair clips and they would have it up in matter of minutes. First she said my hair was too straight so she did some ‘body perm’ (this is the 21st century and I didn’t know body perm still existed). After the body perm, she has to then relax the curls (I was freaking out on the perm already because I looked like a whore in Shanghai).

Then she started her expertise of bunning. After all the tug and pull along with cans of hairspray at every nook with 40 black hair pins tugged, my hair was finally bun up, ready to go. But when I looked into the mirror, I saw a 40 year old lady who is getting ready for her night job in Club de Boss! Argh! And those curls. Those curls at the side of each ear! What is that for? And those puffy arch at the top of my head as if I was a flower horn! Argh.

Then when the mirror came to show me how the bun turns out to be, it looked like it was transported from Shanghai’s era of Madam Butterfly. Argh. I hated it but my mum kept assuring me it looks fabulous! Yeah right. To end it all, I had to cover my face with those pink face mask and that lousy hair dresser made one last spray to my already rock hard hairdo (I don't think any male erection could beat this I tell you).

I wondered what made her think my hair will not be able to hold for 5 hours? I was very assured that despite an El Nino and El Nina, then El Pacino, I would still have the same hairdo without THAT last spray}

{True enough when I arrived at Fiona’s wedding late, I was the mock of the evening! Richard was going, “Ya ma teh, ya ma teh mamasan” all night long. Lucky that at the time of Fiona's wedding, the era of FB has not yet arrived. They still had at most advance then, digital cameras which can’t be loaded to computers! Amen.

Otherwise, my only minuscule image which is left today would be all gone. Haha... Alhamdulillah...}

But if you think you got a ball to go and the theme is back to the 70s or 80s or Night in Shanghai, aunty hair dressers will a blessing. Don’t need to explain further, just say you want your hair bun. Let them do whatever they want, the effect will be just right.

If you are thinking of washing and blowing your hair, just give aunty hair dressers specific instruction and never hang loose. You must monitor what they do to your hair every few minutes. And when they really are not doing the way you want them to, immediately stop them. Don’t compromise because it will cheese you off big time with the after effect. Plus, you got to pay them still.

{I once had a dread lock twist curl. The most awesome hairstyle ever for me. I went back Malacca and landed along the streets of this aunty hair salon. I thought it was a mere harmless wash and blow plus I am good at instruction so I don’t think they could get very wrong. Hehe...

She untangled my twist!!! Beat that!!! And she lamented that my hair was all tangled!!! I was freaking angry. And she refused to budge. I lose my temper and told her to stop or else I’m walking out. She finally stopped and started washing my hair but she kept saying it was all tangled. I ignored her with reading the stale magazines where old salons normally have while sulking big time. She thought she was doing justice to my hair. Bloody cow. When she finished, I was so pissed that I chucked the money and swore all the way back home. I washed my hair all over and got my mum in helping me with the re-twist. Sigh. Lesson learnt - never trust. Haha...}

{The other episode was, another aunty told me my twist with wet look looked good so she refused to blow dry my hair after I had the leave in conditioner on. She said this is the best look as compared to the rest so she insisted I leave it on. Hahaha... I went home and had my mum’s 20 year old hair dryer worked for half an hour!!! Another lesson learnt - taste deteriotes with age.}

Maybe I am one fussy pot when it comes to hair and the fact that I have been donning the many styles throughout my working years which has caused me more headaches than I should. Hahah... it must be. Why is it that I never hear anyone else lament about

Aunties.... oh, oh, oh! It’s just short of telling them, “Aunty, balik kampung tanam jagung.” Hehe... this is one of those things they have to leave it to the younger people and let go...

Unbeatable Massage

I thought what better way to spend my time than a massage session since I am free. Surprise, surprise.

When I changed I already had a bad feeling that this isn’t going to be great. The girl who led me to the room did not even bother taking away the massage spread on the massage table so I could lie and she did not show me where the towels are or did she show me the cupboard to keep my clothes.

I mean, when it comes to professional massage, generally staffs are very detailed and accommodative. They are out there, ever willing to please. So I thought with this one.

Finally, this aunty walked in. My. She looked ghastly, like someone just walked out of a 70s Hong Kong porn movie! Haha... her hair was curly frizzy shoulder length with 70s make-up all over and she breaths un-refine-ness in every sense. Uh oh.

Sigh. Then I told myself not to judge a book by its cover. This is a hotel’s spa. There has to have quality control.

Yeah right.

She half hearted smiled at me when she entered. She did not bother to inform me there is the usual hole on the massage table to put my face into though it was covered with a layer of clothes. Then she roughly pulled the towel down my torso and undies along. She loudly slathered gallons of oil on my back and started the massage it.

Sigh. She was just massaging me like those men in the KTV cum men spa cum additional service joint {I think}. Just ‘sapu.’ And her touch was not in sequence from one point to the other. It just breaks everywhere. Her motion were hurried. And I remembered saying this to myself, “Oh, this is how a massage goes for those men which is to be quickly done. She can then not waste more time but probably get to the real wanking business.”

I mean, this is the first time the masseur starts massaging me from my back, not from the base of my leg like all that I thought it should be, which would normally gets worked up to my upper torso. What is this? Did I miss somewhere or this is some sort of massage I have never tried? It must be. But she looks like a masseur with 20 years of experience so she should know more than me... right?

She continued with her rough ways, the way she pushes my arms and legs, as if they are pieces of dead meat waiting to be butchered. To some extend I wondered if she was even interested in her work. She continued to slather gallons and gallons of oil { I think if you were stir fry me there and then, I would definitely be the nicest cooked food}{Where did she learn that? License to Grill?}.

She did not make an effort on the pressure points which then got me wondering what was on her mind because she wasn’t all consistent with my left and right. Her touches were all matter-of-fact.

Once she was done with my back, she instructed me to turn and she pulled back my undies with a loud snap which got the left side stuck between my crack!!! Can you bloody beat that? Sigh. She can't be bothered.

She went on kneading me roughly without pressure. I was partly laughing and partly wondering if once upon a time she was one of those massage girls in her heydays with ‘extra services’ at those massage joint because she does look part of it, she speaks part of it and she acts part of it. Hehe...

Her questions were abrupt and has the just-asking-tonation-just-to-make-a-conversation type. Like, “Where are you from?” “Where are you working?” “Why are you here?” “How many children already?” “Can’t conceive?” {But asked in a crude Chinese fashion, “Why, you cannot have children ah?”}, “You swim a lot ah?” {Making reference to my bikini lines} “Is your name Elisabeth?” {Making reference to my E pendant which was loosely hung around my neck}.

Sigh.

When she asked the final question, “How is the massage?”

All I could say is, “It’s ok.”

And I can hear her smiles and said, “Thank you.”

Erkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! I am such a big fat liar. Hehe...

The one last word from her {wow}, “You don’t look Chinese.”

Need I explain?

“Oh, that is because I am under the sun a lot.” Smile. Changed into my clothing.

She answered, “Wah, I very scared the sun oh but you like the sun ah. Why don’t you go swimming outside?” {The pool is on the same floor as the so-called spa}.

“No thank you. It’s cold today because it is drizzling outside if I am not mistaken,” I replied. Just not to be rude.

What do you want me to say? Complain all the way? Ohhh, this is supposed to be a break for me. I don’t want anything or anyone to spoilt it. Hehe... and so, I paid her RM92.40 for 60 minutes of unrefined and chin-chai massage. RM92 to experience massage ala fuck joint. RM92 to be massaged by someone who looks like a 70s Chinese porn star.

Great. Hehe... Jusssssssssssssst great.

Cry Buckets

I cried buckets yesterday while I was watching “Love during the Time of Cholera.” {My eyes were all red and swell as if I cried over a death}. Maybe some people think or feel I’m a little over because it is ‘just’ a love story but in my personal opinion this is more than ‘just’ a love story.

While, this is a typical Garbo way of celebrating love and typical of Garbo’s obsession about love, his method of expression goes beyond me. He could fill one with the beauty of love. Despite being a movie, I was still hooked from the beginning to the very, very end. As in even after the show has ended with wordings of credit looming over the screen.

At the ‘almost’ end I was already pouring. By buckets. Sob, sob, and sob. Sniff, sniff, and sniff. Emotional {but trust me no one will ever catch me in this vulnerable state, ever. hahah... this only happens when there is NO ONE around hehe...}.

The guy, Florentino Ariza for 51 years was in love with Femina Urbino. He expressed his love and waited for love. Just waited for 51 long years. Then he prevailed despite being shunned by Femina. Femina was the only woman he ever loved so he hung on to hope while trying to get by the pain with many cardinal affairs (with 622 women or more for that 51 years). He went on with life, still hoping and hoping one day Femina will allow him to love her. And finally, at the age of 72 he was finally gotten the chance to love the only person he has ever loved. And all that mattered to him then was spending his last moments with her. That was enough to make him the happiest person...

Oh, just watch it... and feel the love... hehe...

Though the plot is pretty simple as most of Garbo stories are, the entire journey of this love story makes it utterly beautiful. Every single step of it.

I know a lot of people find Garbo’s books a hard read, more so when it is long winded and descriptive which most often that not acts as a sleeping pill {even to the insomnias apparently}. Hehe...

But if you are an overly emotional romantic freak like me, I trust you will be hook on this one, word by word, step by step.

After watching the movie, all there is left is beyond me. I just could not find the right words to describe how I felt for everyone in the movie {except, "God look at my eyes, they are so red!"}. Nor could I find the words to describe the entire journey of this really, really special love.

Talk about love...

Something Worth Reading

I seldom write reviews and more so I seldom bump into great blogs except those that I follow in my list of blogroll (because these people are good writers and they are worth my time).

And today, Hope Never Dies wrote something so beautiful. So utterly beautiful that I was loss in her world in that moment in time and I was totally mesmerized with her gorgeous words, letter by letter, word by word, sentence by sentence, I read through it, savoring it like a little girl treated with her favourite vanilla ice cream in a little cone.

And when I finished it, I was filled with so much love. And smiles. And good feeling...

Try it...

http://hopedieslast.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/undefined/

I bet you a great feeling , money back guaranteed. *smile*

Stalkers & Old Folks in FB

I just heard something. Someone in the office actually stalks us in FB. She literally checks all of our status when she is in and she draws conclusion from it!!! And half of the time, wrong conclusions.

There you go. Just when I say the older generation has to be ban from FB. They just have to.

They are the people who will spoilt all fun with the idea of it. They are the people that makes nice things horrible. Argggghhhhhhhhhh....

I'm definitely 'axing' her out of my friend's list once I get home tonight. I don't need stalkers!!! I only need friends!!!

Stalker, stalker pants on fire!!!

*running around looking for the axe to chop her off" muahahaha...

Anyway, my boss got the hang of it because his wife opened an account on his behalf. There... see what I get again from these old folks? LOL.

He commented about my status because I said I went off to the East Coast and he commented about me wearing a bikini. See, see, see. See what I mean about these uncool uncles and aunties?

Arghhhhhhhhhhh....

*running around looking for the button to disconnect" hehe...

For the 'Sake'

I really, really think people should stop asking me what I do at work, exactly. I don't mind sharing about my work (because at least I get non financial people some idea about bankers) and my job designation but I do mind when they further ask what do I really do. It always happens that when I start describing the things I do in layman to this bunch of ignorant, I conveniently get a turned away gaze and loss attention.

I mean, if that is case, why bother even to ask right?

Don't just ask for the sake of asking just to show you look interested or concern.

It's just less of saying I'm stupid and here I am reaffirming you I am stupid.

And it's really daft that people think you don't realize from their body language and that eye contact. I mean, who are you kidding.

It's better to remain silent.

That is also one of the reasons I just refuse to meet and socialize with people who doesn't know me enough. Half of the time people are just not interested. And all the time, people are just interested about themselves and making themselves feel good when they socialize. Think about it. It's nothing to make the people around them feel good actually.

So this goes to say that when one socializes, you need to have people of the same wave length and interest to have everyone enjoying and conversation going. Otherwise, it does not make sense.

It is exactly like me meeting my ex-classmates, sordid colleagues for drinks or even getting to know a bunch of ruler straight nerds. I just don't feel the joy in a more than 30 minutes conversation because I don't seemed to go anywhere. Sometimes, my threshold is only 10 minutes.

Sometimes people tell me it is for old time sake, office sake, colleague who is leaving sake, or colleague's birthday sake and etc but these 'sakes' are really not that right in context. As I just said, don't do things for the sake of something.

If one can't feel you will be happy doing it, don't do. Don't attend. Don't even open that gap. It saves a lot of hassle, complication and time. Honestly.

If people feel they need more events in their lives because they can't stand the thought of being on their own or getting no attention or their reality life is so bleached or they feel empty not being in conversation or in company of anyone or that today they have nothing better to do with their lives because their kids and spouse are away somewhere, please, address that.

Don't keep having meetings, gatherings, catch-up and mamak meetings just to temporary 'cover' your issues. It will won't go away.

Face it please... and leave people like me alone. Stop bugging even. It is ok to invite but if invitation turns out to be a no show, this goes to show people are not interested and people find that there is no interest to be there. Simple common sense.

And please, don't try compromise to meet. It does not work that way... sometimes we just need to realise we all are different in every way. Simple rule of respect.

Cars & Driving

I thought I was done. Nil.

I was stuffing Pak Su into my face for dinner. Literally having a feast yesterday. While I believe Pak Su has now turned to a touristy food haven, I still think there is some goodness in their food. Not overly exorbitant but of KL standards I should say. BUT I am not here to comment or make a review about Pak Su’s food actually.

On the way out of Pak Su, guess what we saw?

1 Ferrari 430 (I think) in red, 1 black E92 and 1 yellow Lamborghini.

How did I feel?

I forgot to breath for a moment.

Awesome.

They were all KL plates so they were like us, coming to Kuantan for a short weekend getaway and enjoy some sumptuous seafood!

Then we started wondering how fast were they cruising along the highway to get here. Must be easily more than 200kmph.

Awesome.

Then we started to wonder if we had cars like that how much would our gut take us?

My guts I think, would take me up to 200-250kmph . I don’t think my guts can take any more than that. And I also think the number would be decreasing as the age climbs. Haha...

But I don’t think I would get a Lambo ever. It's too 'over' to me and it's just overly super in my dictionary. Hehe...

As I have said before I would have the Maserati Gran Turismo, Aston Martin Vantage and Porsche Carrera 4S all in black. That's enough to keep me happy alright. {Go ahead, roll your eye and say who wouldn't, hahah...}

Talking of driving, we almost got into a really, bad accident just now!!! That mother fucker!!! If I know who that is, I would hammer his/her head with a sledge for that sort of berserk and irrational driving.

Today, we were on the 2nd lane off the highway from Taman Desa to Midvalley, where there is a condo on the left side of the road, where Mid Valley is already within visible in front.

We were definitely going within 80kmph of speed limit with an extremely clear traffic and we were really cruising because that area is the haven for cops to collect their 'duit kopi'.

But out of nowhere, this crazy red Satria did a jam brake and the car spun. It spun so hard that while it was spinning, it almost hit us really, really hard as it was shrieking like a lady who went amok with a cliver.

Luckily Eugene dodge to the 3rd lane within seconds while the fucker's car spun 360 and almost rammed into the metal dividers that differentiates the to and fro lane.

For a second in time, I was certain there goes my car and because I was certain we were going to be hit. I was more worried for my car than us. Hehe...

While we got over it and drove past faster, I loss my temper. Eugene loss his.

WTF was that?!!!! What was that for??? Are they crazy??? What was the jam brake in the middle of a highway and almost hitting us??? Before that the car was driving like every sane KL fast driver on the 1st lane!

All I could think that time was if ever my car was hit, I would come out and give the driver many, many, many tight slaps and the entire of my foul dictionary would put to its test!!! And on top of that, if Eugene is to whack the shit out of him / her, I swear I would pull the hair out of the mother fucker until there is nothing left!!!

I was verbally that piss.

Then later as I calmed down, I realised I had to be thankful to God that we were both safe and not a single scratch hurt. That is actually FAR MORE important than the car. Heheh...

OK, now you know how much my car means to me. Well... what an ordeal. I prayed and thank God that we were ok.

But even till now, I still hope the mother fucker would have really hit that divider and have the car totally smashed up. I only pray for him/her to be safe. That is so that it teaches the motherfucker a lesson of jam braking in the middle of nowhere at 9.55pm on a quiet Sunday!

So guys, eyes on the road all the time. Eyes on the rear and side mirror all the time too. Don't fall daze and dream. It may cost you your life after all... take care!

All Kinds Over Teluk Cempedak

I was just wondering to myself if ever I would run out of thought. Everything which I see and take note seemed to end up in my thoughts. To some extend I blame the habit to the job I do. Somehow this Risk job forces vomit opinions all the time. More so if it involves making decisions of some sort. I have even been screwed by my boss for not wanting to make a decision or lack of ability to make decisions. The thing is the only way decisions can be made is when there is / are some sorts of opinion(s).

And here I come. Actually, opinions coming from me are often not overly calming, contradictory or controversial. But I don’t care anyway, because it’s what I think. Opinions can never be wrong anyway. Only thinking makes it so.

As of today while I am typing this by the beach in Teluk Cempaka, with the roaring of the waves and the caressing of a rather windy breeze, I am extremely happy to just be with the beach. Even if it even means I only get about 12 hours of beach time. But it is good enough to rejuvenate my soul. There is just something about me and the beach.

Yeah, when I die I want to be cremated and my ashes be scattered into the sea. Any sea will do. It’ll be great.

I have something to say about KFC. I really think it is one of the best food mankind has ever created minus the flies in the Malaysian restaurants. Especially the “original” recipe chickens. So delicious. I even have conjure the art of eating KFC. Ask me.

But the only reason KFC isn’t perfect is because the people who manages it does not have tip top quality over cleanliness in Malaysia. Argh. That is the problem with Malaysians. If some buggers don’t start preaching it, no one will take a personal initiative to just be very hygiene. I mean, even super clean fingernails is NOT part of many people’s personal hygiene agenda. So what do you expect? {I honestly do wonder what the girlfriends or wife of these people think then they dip their fingers in to finger them or feed them with some food with those soiled fingers...}

Today, Gucci came to my mind. I would like to make a note about Gucci. I had previous several very bad experience with Gucci so much so that I have ceased buying anything from them. Even after the massive complain I have made to their Milan office. I am in the opinion that the Malaysian management isn’t too bothered about their sucky service because everyone who has money at some point in their life would be buying from them. So they were not in the state of making up to me at all. Just some bouquet of flowers and so be it. That, is their opinion. Typical Asian mentality. So it seemed.

What were they thinking, that flowers could replace the degradatory attitude the staff made against me? Common, I am not that shallow or near that shallow. And I also happen not to have gold fish memory. More like elephant’s.

Is it really so that every woman whom you piss will go all forgiving with just a bunch of flowers? Common, Gucci can do better than that...

So there, Gucci will never be in my list of purchases whenever I feel like splurging on something luxurious. On second thoughts, Gucci has yet in attaining the level which other brands like Hermes, Asprey, Cartier or even Ferragamo has level up. They are not even there yet AND if they think they would one day be there, they badly need to perk up that service level and please, change that attitude of their Malaysian staff. They act as if Gucci if THE brand of the century. That is probably how shallow Gucci people are generally in Malaysia.

Maybe it is different elsewhere. But I don’t care, it has piss me enough to cease even walking into their stores. The nearest I got the last time was standing outside the store waiting for Eugene to check out some stuff he thought Gucci might have.

On the contrary, the other store which I am totally in awe is Massiomo Dutti, Zara and Kinokuniya. Their staffs have this never ending yearning to help you out. People just know how to treat you as a simple human. And that is really all we need in any service. And people need to realised customers are not a bunch of stupid people without brains.

Anyway, I have not gone shopping for the past 4 months so if things have change in the interim, I really don’t know. Hehe...

Just recently a lot of baby boomers have registered themselves with FB. And when I say baby boomers I mean people like your parents, my parents, our uncles and aunties and the entire battalion of relatives at that age. What’s up man with them and cyberspace?

Maybe they just want to catch up and still be up-to-date but I honestly think, sometimes, there are times and things where we would be happy to be left alone and there are some stuff we do that we don’t prefer having the older folks breathing down our neck.

This also was one of the reasons I shut my previous blog. I feel my ability to just rant has been clamped to a lot of extend and that I can no longer be free to write as I please no doubt, reading my stuff gives them a chance to know me better and to some extend, bond.

Unfortunately, I think most people in generation X are people who savour their privacy and freedom to many, many extend. And we would like to share our stuff with ‘certain’ people only.

I guess they have to learn to understand that.

I now don’t know IF I should refrain from my rubbish status update even in FB.

There was once I just conveniently said I was to travel to Aruba and boy that got to my mum’s ears and etc etc. The havoc. And I was merely saying it like I say I am off to the mountains of Karlifornia which I normally do. I mean, that’s basically to say I’m off to chilling my brains and soul though I may still be in that concrete jungle. See... Sigh.

Anyway, as I am typing this, I have decided. I will one day have a kid. Just one. But when, I don’t know. I will let God decide that for me. One of those things I really leave it to God. Certainly not within these few months. I don’t even mind if the kid is not my flesh and blood. I just don’t mind. Just 1 kid to watch the fella grow and observe what my parents have gone through with me. I guess to some extend it will only teach me to learn more about myself and the thing about family and love. It would be a great teacher.

But I have made it a pack that I don’t want to be a parent that leaves their kid at home with the maid most of the time and that I only spend time with them whenever I feel like it. I don’t think that is the idea of having a kid. And I certainly want to know my kid as much as I know the people I love.

A lot of people today have kids because they want to measure up to other people and they don’t want to be left out because they think that is just the right thing to do for themselves. But once they become a real father or mother, they chicken out and leave the kid with the in-laws or maid ¾ of the time. I honestly don’t think that is the way to be a parent. And before you know it, the kid is all grown up and you hardly know this person who is supposed to be your son or daughter.

There are of course assholes who tells me the joy of being a parent and let me tell you these are the only parents who does not literally raise the kid up with their 2 bare hands. To be honest, I often hear that same load of crap from men. It is just so easy to say how great to have kids. I wonder if they were the one who has to go through pregnancy, the entire trauma of giving birth, then wearning the baby, then the ordeal of changing the lifestyle to suit the kids feeding and sleeping pattern, raise the tiny fella who then has the highest tendencies to run around like a headless chicken everywhere aimlessly and you need to look out for him/her, then the falling sick episode because they have the lowest immune system at that point, tantrum throwing for no apparent reason and the list just goes endlessly.

But I would still hiss at those assholes who thinks they have sort the elixir to life because they have kids and I would still shun those who tells me how great being a parent is. I mean, do you sing to the world if you had a great orgasm or how fantastic orgasm actually is?

There are a lot of great and fabulous things that one need not tell. People can just see that from your face. You know like a glowing bride, a glowing mother, a glowing happy person. You don’t need to tell people how happy you are. It just radiates...

The other thing which amuses me is the relationship we Asian women have with bikinis. I don’t know if you ever noticed the difference between Asian women (taking aside Japanese chicks, who are THE COOLEST Asian women) and Caucasian when they carry themselves with bikinis. Caucasian despite the size, shape and texture will be confident about themselves physically. For us Asian, we tend to shy away from everything. Everything that is “over.”

I sometimes wonder what are we searching to be? The perfect body beautiful figure like those Miss Universe delegates? And only then we have that confident to walk upright in a bikini? Those beautiful long straight legs? That perfect flawless porcelain complexion?

I mean, one has a choice not to wear a bikini, but watch those who do. It is hard to find anyone besides the few awesome people I think I know has this courage to carry themself with more than dignity in a bikini. And that, deserves my applause.

I mean, why can’t they be like most men? Men don’t care if people see their pot belly. They will still go around in their shorts and hang out by the beach and pool. They just don’t really care. Of course, they have wishes for that 6 pac abs but if they don’t, it is still ok. They still have that much of confidence. I mean, to some women, if at all bikini is such a cumbersome ‘outfift’ just don’t bother wearing it. Again, don't because some chic looks great in it, doesn't mean you don't want to lose out so you equally pressure yourself into it.

Maybe we Asian women are over critical. That is why. And kiasu.

See... what free time and free soul does to me. My thoughts get crystal clear and I can just say and type so much within half an hour. I still can go on but I think I will better stop and start my writing again.

Have a good weekend people. Yeah I will send my regards to the beach for y’all. Heheh... *evil*

Friday Crap

Ever since I heard what has been said by this person about his salary adjustment, I honestly was disgusted to the extend which I do not feel like being even friendly with him. So much for my attempt to hold that Poker face and Poker attitude. But I will leave it as that because I really can't stomach people who don't even have a sense of gratitude. I don't mingle with small hearted people because they weight me down with their negativity {not because I am stuck up}.

Anyway, one of my colleagues just returned from a week long from Bali. How I envy him. I do. Sigh. My last trip was in April and the nearest I am getting to any beach is Cherating and later Penang. How eventful, no doubt, it is better than nothing. Sigh.

Even feel like skipping my yoga class today because I just feel like going home to write. But on the other hand, I have not done any workout for a good 5 days. I am honestly getting lazier by the day. My tummy is bloating and my thighs makes me feel like a Hulk. See... Plus, I feel like taking a nap.

Actually I am pretty inclined to talk about the people working in my office because there is a lot to gossip about them. Especially those funny people from the funny farm type. Hehe... but I am in no mood to mock them now because it takes a lot of creativity and memory juices to make it interesting. Some other time I guess. Hehe...

One of my buddies were telling me it is better to host my card-a-heart in wordpress. So I think I would change it to wordpress. Really tried to get my blog well listed in the search engine but apparently I can't even see it anywhere. Bajero. There is certainly something that I am definitely missing!!! Argh!!! Well, I am really getting help from my good friend here... *jumping for joy* let's see what will cook out from there.

Apparently also we were asked to tidy up our work station because the CEO is coming to town {some cow sent a mail stating that food stuff lying on the table must be also safe kept, but I wonder what about her table which is full of knick knacks like some souvenir store in Madrid? Oh well, just lamenting...}. As in the CEO which is so important that he will even meet the queen. Sorry, I forgot, this is Malaysia, meet the governor of our central bank I mean. Hehe... anyway, he must be one figure I say, to be warrant such attention heh? I honestly think it's quite a boring thing for him. It is all business talk. He literally eat, sleep, think, shit and fuck about the company in mind. It got to be. Imagine the load of pressure to turn this company and pull it out of its rut. Imagine the world is watching you, every breath you take, every step you make {you can actually sing that song, "Every Step You Take"}. Sigh. Ain't that a huge pressure?

Notwithstanding the money, I don't think I would want such challenge, ever in my life. I mean, yeah it does prove one's prowess-ness. But then again, as I have said, I have nothing more to prove since I am a simple person. Ehem-ehem.

OK, suddenly I have this pang to bitch. Told Ima I will be couriering the cards I made for her. She thanked me and invited me to join them for karaoke at 3pm in Gardens. I told her I am not as lucky as them because I have got work and bid them in enjoying their time there. She said all of them were taking time off illegally from the office to sing and she asked me to steal some time out of the office too.

Well... maybe to many people stealing time off from the company is not as bad as it looks but I think even if one wants to do it, don't do it that obviously like going to a karaoke centre! Hahah... I would probably at most be caught tea-ing at San Fran coffee or on the 5th Floor food court or yakking with some colleagues during office hours but going out to a karaoke joint to sing is totally way out of my league. Oh yes, even Josephine Leong loves doing that and she still is doing it even until today working with someone else.

I wonder that is with women and singing? Hahah... maybe they did not get enough of their husband's mic. Ehem ehem. LOL. *I'm choking from laughing* Probably I don't see the point too because I don't sing. Maybe if you ask me to go to steal some time off working hours to an Art Gallery or Bookshop, I would be more than happy. I guess.

Sometimes when I look at the bunch of my classmates, I feel alienated from them. While I still can mingle if I want to but it is just not me having to tag with several ladies to go somewhere together. I am not such a person at all. Hmm, makes me even wonder if I am actually a woman. Hahah... I mean, I don't find any fun in a little group get together. Probably also I find being in an entire group of females, it is quite a lot of trouble because they have this thing about going to the toilet together and eating together and drinking together and everything else together. Lucky they don't sleep with their husbands together too, boy, what an orgy it would be...LOLOL... *stop it, behave myself*

I can't help it. I know, someone will say if I don't want to tag, just don't go and stop having so much to mock about them. They are AFTERALL ladies. Hehe...

Wellll.... I'm off to yoga to restore some sanity... enjoy the mock! *wink*

A Tribute to "Disrespect"

I have a lot to say today because I just feel like blaring it all out like a loud speaker. Just in that kind of mood.

Just as I have said about Eugene being piss. Well, as today is day 1 from the scratch, I have resolute that I will not be affected by how Eugene feels or think about this whole think, ever again. Not that I don't care about him but there is a limit to this rubbish of getting overly upset over 4 set of car rims. The life we live is definitely larger than this rim issue and there is no need to be overwhelming emotionally charged up. After all, shit do happen.

And sometimes, I wish Eugene will learn to realized that it is MY car and I DO FEEL upset over my carelessness. I don't need someone to tell me off my face about the thing and start telling me what I can do or not do with my life, when I want to go park my car at which place or a snub that I go fix that bloody rims myself, just because those damn rims got scratch! Give me a break.

And, being angry with a person does not give anyone the right to say whatever they think and feel like saying to the face at that point of time. If anyone can say whatever they feel like saying, I have a LONNNG series of things in rebut to the entire whole situation in return. I would retaliate and create a huge fucking havoc out of just these few stupid rims. But, I just KEPT QUIET. Because it is just not so worth getting all charged up, being piss with someone and being UNHAPPY about it for the whole day.

Get charge up for bigger and meaningful reasons please. I don't think anyone should be smaller than this for Heaven's sake. And yes, I am piss about this because how can anyone be telling me off my face as if I did it in purpose? Yes, I know the trouble one needs to get through fixing it but does that warrant such outburst?

Being angry does NOT mean you have the right to disrespect people just because someone was careless.

I can't believe this. And that is the reason I am piss. Anyway, he was not nagging as he puts it, he was telling me off. Differentiate that please!!!

Anyway... I can stay as long numb as I can if Eugene continues the crap because I do not tolerate people who can't give me some basic respect just because I was careless. Period.

Talking about disrespect.

I used to know this person by the name of Josephine. Josephine Petola to be exact is her name {she has this resemblance of a bitter gout}. Yeah. Kill me and sue me for what I have got to say. But I honestly don't care. She is the mother of disrespect. She has this level of disrespect for anyone including God.

She is one person who can call me while Eugene was in the hospital just coming out from the operation theater and in a tonation of piss because of something she THOUGHT I did not do. She has the fucking cheek to call me up when I desperately needed time off to be with my family. She also has the cheek to tell me I do not have the right to call her a bitch. Joke of the century. Well, despite the many years this has happen, I still think you are a fucking bitch. The only competition you have is the person who kicked you out of Citi. I am so not worthy.

She is also the one person who will call me at 11pm in the middle of the night just because she thought of something about work and she thinks and believe I should be entertaining her unimportant and not urgently-at-all thoughts.

She is also the person who can tell me how bad a person is on my face but when she meets the person in person, she doesn't have a single ball to show it. {Sandy, if you are reading this, she is not your best friend stupid, she's just trying to be nice so she can get her things done, most of the time behind you, she just gloat and roll her eyes on you. And you stupidly think she like you. Haha...}

She is one person who always, always complaint about her salary and how lowly paid she is and will always ensure despite it all, if I get an adjustment, she must too because to her, I can never earn more than her {on that note Josephine, remember you are 10 years older than me and I am probably earning 3/4 of what you are earning now, so imagine by the time I reach 44...}

She is one person who always complaints her boss never pays her enough and is always expecting her to shoulder his shit. But she never, ever dare complain these rubbish in front of him.

She is one person who made everyone stay back till wee hours of the morning on the very last day of submission for some checking because she thinks that will do justice to the department and her BIG FAT SALARY.

She is one person who will just dilly dally her hours between 9am-6pm and only start work after 6pm, only to finish everything by 9pm-11pm AND she will be THE ONE who will e-mail to the boss to inform / update him about things 1 minute before she leaves that room of hers. She does it every single time she works pass 9pm. EVERY TIME. And yes, she made sure she cc everyone so people would know how hard she worked.

She is the one person who thinks no one knows what she does during her dilly dally time during office hours. Like bitching. Like finding out who is earning what. Like going for 3 hour lunches. Like going for 2 hours dinner along with a stroll in KLCC Suria before heading back to the office to really work. Like screwing people for some minuscule number someone missed hitting. Yeah. And she thinks she ought to be paid loads for doing that? Boy!

She is one person who will ask me to do the dirty job of firing people and I get screw because I don't see the reason if I can't get it done. And now that she no longer works with us, she pretends she is BEST friends with these people {she asked to fire}. Yeah, I know, she always believe, work and personal is 2 different thing. Well, going on the same philosophy, I was nice to you then because you were my boss so I had to respect that chair, at least. On a personal front however, you are absolutely a crap shit to me. No hard feelings, it is only work.

She is one person who will call a person back to the office at 9pm just because something is not correctly done. The problem with her is, just because she works after 6pm and she only gets to check her work after that, she expects all her staff to stay with her till that hour. So, this goes to say that just because she does not have a life it does not mean, she has to disrespect people's life.

She is one person who has built a small army of cronies for herself. Chris the Dork, used-to-be Vincent, Sara the big tits and wannabe, Maggie the SOL, Patrick the whim who would follow her everywhere she goes and everything she does. And mind you, they get the best of everything. As petty as using the company laptop as is it is theirs. Oh, some people can just get so small and hard-up over such trivial things. And as they have the world in their so-called hands, the tyrant in her will start demanding for pay spike every 6 months because someone in her army of cronies is threatening to leave.

She is one person who will shed crocodile tears for the army of cronies when they want to leave the bank in pursuit of a better salaried job claiming she will not ever be able to work without her armies. She badly needs them and beg for salary raise. And in turn, she knows if her staffs' salary gets adjusted, she will do eventually as there is no way the boss earns lesser or almost at the same par as her.

She is one person who was totally devastated when she realized when we all had the adjustment {and because it is to be fairness to all, the non-cronies like me got to benefit the adjustment} she lamented that the boss was not being fair to her because she had nothing!!!! Beat that!!!!

She is also one person who believes she is the boss and she won't get to the nitty gritty of things. She will say hell things to her staff because they are behind schedule and she will not lay a fingers on it to help because she says we are all paid to do a job and not giving her problems. Apparently, she said we are all paid to resolve issue and manage situations, not giving her problems instead.

She is one person who needs affirmation from HER OWN staff that she is good. IF she ever take over a job badly done, at the end of it all, she will make the staff say she is really good. Or she is smart after all. I mean this, literally. Beat that.

She is one person who will just take a pen and strike off the entire pages of your memo which you have taken the whole day to write with scribbles the many things which she wants to put it in and she writes all over the memo. She does not even take the time to run through the memo with you and tell you where you go wrong, she does the writing as and when she starts her work after 6pm and returns it via the out-tray.

She is one person who never has the time for you, unless is it nothing about work or there is an urgent need to revert by some more powerful department than hers.

She is one person who will ask you to do the work first and submit to her for 'approval' apparently. But in later years I realized it is not because I am paid to do the work, it is because she doesn't have the slightest idea how to do it!!! That then explains why she do most of the things by herself and she keeps preaching we are paid to work. And she probably thinks she is paid to just 'sign it.'

She is one person who will actually mix personal matter into work despite her attesting she does not. She has a dog named Tommy. Who helped her pay her bills, run errands for her, buy oranges for her. In return of being her dog, she actually gave him some bonus despite him being a very, very bad worker. While she asked me to fire people that she doesn't like, she never asked me to fire Tommy who is really, really a bad worker. He is just super inefficient. Ask me!

She is one person who will pretend she likes you and is thoughtful. She will depend on other people to remind her whose birthday is around the corner and she has totally no memory to remember anyone's. And when the day really comes, she will grab whatever she has in her closet which is extra and she will wrap it up later and give it to you pretending she has a thought to it.

Well... I have some more to go about this Josephine Leong but I no longer have the time to go on.

You know, when people say people will forget, it does not apply to me.

I will not forget about this entire episode about her. Not because I can't move on but as a reminder to me how to manage such people if I meet another of the same species. I also would like to be reminded that what I am today is because of her, she made me a better person. She made me realized how it is to be a good genuine person and a boss. She also reminded me that, the world is indeed round and what ever comes around does come around. Even round enough to remind me how atrociously rude with disrespect she has for me and the people around her. And because of her, she makes me appreciate how much of the goodness in other people. She reminded me all the time, that she is the benchmark of a bad person, so it is so easy to make comparison to a good and bad person. Last but not least, she has reminded me what kind of a character will be eligible to hell, as simple as that.

Thank God I won't be seeing her...

My Rims and This Chinese Bad Habit

Arghhhhhh, I scratched my rims the 2nd time in a week!!! I'm miserable and piss with myself. Right, I don't know what is Eugene going to say this time because on Monday, he just solemnly said it is alright, we will get it fix. But I know, he is certainly unhappy with my careless driving. Heh, I don't know how to tell him about today's scratch though the only consolation I have is it is really a scratch per se. Monday's was massive 2mm deep scratch!

What is WRONG WITH ME these few days? Why is my estimation skills down under the drain? More like under the monsoon drain. Argh!!!

At this moment, I just feel like getting a Smart One. That will ease my tension of taking care about the rims and Malaysian infamous pot holes. Sigh. Oh, yes, another thing I hate about Malaysians. They have the knack to dig on roads that are well paved and smooth. They cannot resist not destroying neat, well kept roads. They just have to dig something to create some employment to a bunch of people, I think. And they fail miserably in getting it fix to perfection, after the digging. Their tar-ing skill is as bad their their taste for women and color coordination.

And because they are bad, my poor car needs to drive through bad roads. And ironically as well, I happen to pay road tax. Maybe the tax is for the employment of the diggers and pavers. It has to be. Maybe if I pay more tax, I will get better diggers and better pavers, like the saying goes, when you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Hehe...

I have to say something about Malaysians too. Generally, if one goes for lunch in a hawker centre which sells 'economy rice' or what we Chinese call it "chap fan" these people who buys them have this very funny attitude. And it's pretty much applicable to Chinese people. They LOVE to pick their dishes as in, scoop, look at the meat, put back, scoop another, look at the meat, put back and scoop another until they find THE perfect piece of meat. Despite the long queue behind. And he goes on doing it to the next piece of meat, next piece of vegetable and whatever next he wants.

Yesterday, this stupid Chinese girl was crazy. She picked the foo-chok (fried bean curt) piece by piece and scrutinize them by centimeters on the face, then she puts it back and took another, scrutinize it on the face again, then return and pick another one. I was standing beside her and I really, really rolled my eyes like about 100x. I told myself if she continue another time of scrutinizing the quality and refuse to make a decision, this foul mouth of mine is going to say something that will spoilt her day. Like, "Why don't you change a job to quality control officer for foo chok and fish balls? You look talented."

I really have concluded their parents have not taught them that it is rude to pick all the best parts at the whims and fancy and having the cheek to return. It's pure fucking rude. Even more rude when there is a long queue behind.

Then how you ask me?

Look where you are scooping and see from afar if those are the ones you prefer. Otherwise, don't fucking touch it. Be more focus on what you want to eat then go for it.

It just goes to also tell how you see life.

But typical Chinese has it this way: Don't know what the fuck they want in life. Then they just do anything that comes by like a rubbish truck collector. Then half way into it, he finds it too tough, he will quit. And he goes on and on like that. Pick, don't like, return, pick, don't like return.

Sigh.

Malaysians. Chinese. Me.

I don't know what else to say... sigh. Oh yes, my car rims are scratched.

Malaysians

This wonderful morning starts with many thoughts for the day.

The issue about the car and all has yet to seep into my system. But I know, time smoothens everything and it stomachs everything like a bottomless pit. I will be able to absorb it eventually. Though, it still won't be today, I am sure.

I was just swearing under my breath while I was driving to work on several things Malaysians irritate me. I hate Malaysians for,
1. Being kiasu, if there is a thing about money or anything for free, they will just hoard on it like tomorrow is the end of the world, despite the trouble they need to go through

2. U-turning or stopping their car at a junction

3. The love to destroy everything that has trees and shrubs in it. They just can't leave jungles or a nice piece of quiet land alone. They have this itchy urge to flatten it, get rid of all the trees and build houses and houses and houses or offices over offices over offices. I mean, does this small 27 million people REALLY NEED that much of home and office spaces? I really hate these developers. I hate all of them because they don't know when to stop. I hate them even more because they get those cheap stake Datukship for destroying the environment and making helluva tonnes of money from other people while raping the land. Oh, some even Tan Sri. WTF. I hate them. They are just greedy bunch of mother fuckers who only think all for themselves. And just when they are so good at doing that, they even get acclaimed for it. Can you beat that crap?

4. Always complaining that Malaysia is never good enough for them. The grass is always greener on the other side for them.

5. Just simply park their car because they are going to the temple, church or mosque. Hell breaks loose when they are supposed to be going to Heaven. Hehe...

I just learnt from the papers that the 1 empty space left beside my condo will be under construction sometime at the end of 2009 or 2010. They are apparently going to build a 12 storey hotel. A hotel in the middle of a suburb of a residential area. Believe it. Like whose brains was that? Or it was a brainless thought actually some man who thought he was smart.

I am pissed. I am pissed as per No. 3 above.

And also, I am sad. I am sad because I thought I was going to grow old living in this condo I totally adore from the very first day I set my eyes on it. And to some extend, 2 years ago, we pretty much broke our bank account to purchase this place I now call my home, my sanctuary. Where in the world am I going to get another place with that much greens, parks after parks for my walks and runs, a view to kill and it being a very quiet corner of the entire area?

Sigh.

I woke up to the fact that I will eventually one day have to move once the hotel is up and "bustling" becomes part of the area. I feel people just conveniently take away my privilege just like that and I feel violated to some extend. I feel people just don't care and all they know is the amount of money that will be going into their big fat pocket after this.

But in my little heart, I hope that the developer will go bust and there is many, many complications in paperwork to start the construction. If not I hope the developer himself dies or his money gets swindled. And even if someone else wants to take over, the same happens to the person. I know it is not a very kind thing to pray for but I think that is the only solution to the issue for EVERYONE that has called that area our home.

People just don't understand until they have somewhere they consider as their beloved dwelling.

Sigh.

Anyway, if that does not happen, I will be moving out in a year or two AND I really don't have anywhere to go, honestly. I need the trees, birds, fresh air, cool breeze and quiet evenings. I really, really need that. Those stuff that restores the sanity of this concrete rude jungle...

Thanks Guys!

To the persons who read my blog and enjoy my to-a-certain-extend cynical thoughts and to-an-extend radical believe and to-an-extend-sarcasm, thank you. I appreciate your enjoyment about what I have got to say.

Irwan my friend, thanks. It made my day to know you enjoy my writings. There is more to come actually. I'll give you a peek when I'm half done and I'll let you give me your critic about it. I'm at probably page 30 only for this piece. Hang on. Nothing near Shanice (which I need to work on it after I am done with this) but I THINK you will just like it as well. Especially when we think very alike in many, many, many ways. Heheh...

I shan't name more names hear because I don't feel there is a necessity because you guys know who you are.

God, this is sounding like some award winning speech. Argh! No, I don't mean that! Just that these stuff were running in my thoughts so I guess it's best to put it all out.

And Adrian and Peter of course, giving me your 2 cents of worth to the name of the blog. Muahahah...

And Mok Keen of course too, for taking my writings as your entertainment while you wait for your next flight.

And Evonne who quietly reads this blog and I know you always say to yourself and wonder too where the hell this bitch has so much to say even for ONE topic. Hahah... I don't know. I just have some knack to yak in writings. Since you know me enough, when it comes to using the mouth, I don't ramble that much actually. Hehehe. Just that I'm quite a livewire in real life. Oh, sorry, I forgot, I already am quite one even in my own blog. Kekeke...

And yes, I remember Choo! She was lamenting about the end of Lights, Action, Camera and my brother had to call me to ask if it is ok to share with her. Sorry dear, I really did not mean to leave you out on this new chapter. But I am truly appreciative that you enjoy my ranting about life. Thanks!

And... last but not the least... thank you Eugene for always, always believing in me. For always supporting my love and my passion for writing. For even giving me the space and time. I just can't ask for more. Sigh, thank you love.

Alrighty, time to go... I need to read now. Ta-ta everyone.

This ONE Crazy Dream

If I were to break my bank account and all my savings, I believe (or chose to believe) I would be able to buy that dream Cayman. *breathless* because I said that all in one breath. And yes, because the car will make me pant after being breathless, senselessly. I mean the car, not anyone else. No pun intended. Heheh... (BTW, please don't get me wrong. I am not trying to boast of my earning capability here, there is nothing to be boastful about because it is seemed to be an act of a fool by most people because I am breaking my bank account, anyways...)

Yesterday, Eugene asked me if I am finally ready for the plunge. I was trembling and all I can say is, "I am scared."

I have not really given Cayman a really, really hard thought honestly. Yeah it is my dream. Yeah it is my love. Yeah it is something I crave and yeah, this is one material stuff which will make me also the happiest person on Earth realising the dream, the love and crave. And be enjoying the sheer power and beauty of its curves. My.

And because it is a dream. One never really, really think hard when it is time to decide a yes or no, what then? How would the feelings handle it? How would one react to the overwhelming thought of actually holding the steering of this beastly machine and knowing that it belongs to you? That you actually worked hard with your two bare hands and you finally could attain it (with a broken bank account)? That what you thought was just a dream actually is coming true? And not mentioning spending that sinful sum of money to realised that dream? For a machine? For the roaring of the machine every time you turn that ignition on. For the power that it could accelerate just with a small tap of the pedal. For the zest of enthusiasm when you drive it, or it drives you. Wow.

My boss keeps telling me to put it away. Put that crazy thought away because it is crazy. A totally mad thought. Berserk splurge. And he said, delay it, delay it until there is no longer any passion left for it so I will not spend on this crazy metal piece.

Which I agree if I am a totally sane, safe and monotonous person. I would even agree if I see no point in living life to the fullest.

But I am no sane, safe and monotonous person! Hahah.. I am a staunch follower of living my life to the maximum of my means and I am THAT crazy.

Then again, when it comes back to the crunch of it ie. a yes or no. I could only feel 'scared' now. I have never purchase something so out of the world before and it sure is bewildering and overwhelming.

So... at this point, if anyone is wondering, what's cooking, I am sitting quietly here, on a tree branch of an oak tree, watching the world go by and enjoying the cool breeze that is comforting me to stay focus and at peace. That is all I can say for now.

I really don't have an answer yet. And I don't want to be pressured in any way what so ever for this piece. *deep breath*, just let me enjoy this moment first... Heheh... but one thing I know is, I will not ever want to say this when I look back as an old lady, "I once had a dream but when I was almost there, I gave it all up because I was scared. I just loss my way. I loss it all."

Gratitude

I realized gratitude is pretty much the key to one's contentment. To many, many extend. Because when there is no such feeling, one will never, ever be happy.

Sometimes people needs to realized extra though not given / getting berserkly in amount or content, would still be appreciative with some form of gratitude in return. Like this time around, we people get something least expect for no apparent reason.

I mean, no additional responsibilities, no additional roles and no extra effort and time has been taken to undertake anything while minding our own business with our daily job, and here you go, some extras. Think about it. When things at the front isn't that all rosy and the entire battalion is still fighting a battle we don't know if it is a sure win or otherwise, it is great. A momentous struggle to survive this vicious downturn which took longer than expected to recuperate and yet this effort to give something, is to me, something great.

I am disappointed (though I am passing no judgment) that people fail to appreciate such extras. Be it mere amount. This is out of nowhere. IF only those people realize it. The decision could have been not to allow a single cent of flow. There was a choice but the decision was that to remunerate 'something' at least for the palate, so to speak.

And I hear people say it's merely anything or it's much lesser then the 'ought' to be getting (and they don't even know IF they would be getting, ironic). Honestly, I think people needs to look at a bigger picture and embrace a wholesome attitude towards life. Not just about the things we do to make a living. But to appreciate people's thought. At least. Give people's thought some honor. That is actually worth more than any penny...

Funny People on a Monday

Today we had KFC in the office because it is Chia Bee baby's full moon. She was nice to break the monotony of full moon curry chicken with glutinous rice. I love her for this! KFC!

Anyway, I honestly sympathize with people like Soup Yee who was helping around to get the food to the people. Some people just know how to talk and if I have my ways in this world, I would have given this person a slap.

See, Soup Yee on behalf of Chia Bee ordered the chicken set for us. So as far as I am concerned, we should just eat whatever she has gotten because it isn't easy coordinating for 27 people. Whatmore, she must have carried those chicken all the way from Ampang Park, crossed over via the underpass, then up to our department on the 18th Floor. Imagine how heavy those chicken were and having to walk all the way.

Then, not even a thank you, this someone conveniently asked her, "Eh, why did you not have coleslaw instead of mash potatoes? At least some veggie." And poor Soup Yee had to justify that most people prefer mash potatoes than coleslaw.

Then just when someone was asking for drumstick and etc, this same person said, "Woman, so much things to ask."

Look who is talking.

Funny people...

Then when they were packing to keep some packs aside for those who were out for lunch, I was teasing that despite it all, people like the big L would definitely not pass it on because he is that calculative even if he has had his lunch.

All she did was answered me, "Oh, I won't know because I am not that close to him."

WTF. I was merely making a statement, I was not even asking for affirmation.

Funny people. I would have slap her with I have my ways. Irritating bitch.

See why I always bitch about pregoes and/or Chinese educated? There is something about them. I am not bitching that everyone is like that, but most of them are. They just have this funny thing about pissing people off with the choice of their words because it irks them to be nice... I really wonder what kind of world they live in?

In Circles

I can't help but laugh at myself for the stuff I managed to type, bit by bit, letter by letter with 1 finger from the iPhone on yesterday's post. I certainly missed some words and the consistent spell check is driving me crazy. I was having a foot rub then a shoulder massage. I was still typing while the guy was kneading my shoulder like a pretzel so imagine the shake I was going through while still trying hard to type words. To some extend I can't see the words quite precisely too as my vision gets blurred as he squeeze my tense meat. Haha...

When I read what I have written today, it is funny. I missed a number of words unintentionally and had some spell check words replacing the actual words I wanted to type. Haha...

See, if there is a will, there is always, always a way though not to perfection.

I went back to upload my card blog, then I was trying hard to understand what actually a reed feeder is with all the alien terms used. I am totally at loss. Sigh. Then I linked my blog here and there and yet I still did not get what I really wanted. Argh...! So much to the cyber illiterate.

In the interim I was talking to an old friend who has been jobless for the past 2 years because she got pregnant and now taking care of her kid of 15 months old and so, she wants to move on with a job. She was going on and on and on about getting THE job. One hand she said it's hard for her to get the job she wants, the other hand says easier to get a job if not too fussy, then the other hand said, not in a hurry to look for one and refuse to barge into a much lower salary and the other hand again say, the job she's looking for does not fit her experience now that she's out of job for 2 years so she can't be choosy and bla bla bla. And the conversation just went on and on and on and on and on and on about her and her job in circles.

<See, see what I mean when one becomes a full time mother? One just loss anything interesting to talk about> I tried changing the topic but she just went on and on and on and on with the job. She's more interested about herself than anything else.

I hope I will not be like this IF I become a mother one day. Anyway, typo error in the last post I meant to say to, for this case, if I can't beat them, I still ain't gonna joint them. They are just too funny bunch of people to be associated and be with. That is what I was missing. Ohhh!

Enough, enough, I am starting to sound like my old friend, going in circles... move it, move it...

Running Thoughts -The Past & The Thing About Family and Kids

I went for a run this evening. First I was running much slower than I normally do, then I felt that tight chest breathing which only happens to unfit people. I rolled my eyes but I told myself no sweat because at least I am running without ankle or knee aches! Every cloud has a silver lining eh! *smile*

But despite the strain, my thoughts pass many things.

I realized to go on with life, I can't give much thoughts to the past. Afterall, the past is the past which can't turn back whether it's for better or worst. I have to shove everything good and bad aside and live for the future. Maybe, offlate I have been free at work, ie free enough to cloud my thoughts with the past. It has to be. But am I willing to let it go since I am so good at moving along? *grin*

I realized I have no choice if I want to live my life to the fullest as I believe it should be. Never look back. Never.

In a way, Facebook does has some influence in hindering me to move forward because people of the past reconnects there. So there has been points that I wonder if I should after all disconnect FB. Though the other hand of me thinks it is a silly act because I am what I am for the past which has been. Besides, it is good to be in touch with the people we know after all. It is nice to know what is after all happening. But this is just a food for thought.

Then I told myself I should take some effort to get up those early mornings like I used to just to keep that fitness level up. I mean I don't need that 7-8km run each time, just mere slow mo 5km would suffice. More yogas and more walks, which is enough to keep me going. Honestly, some of my used to be lean parts have turned soggy and flabby... Hehehe... I must!

I also did wonder if ever I would overcome I freak thoughts of being all bloated preggo and having to dedicate 90% of my time to a kid. I honestly still can't. I have this phobia about the entire episode of it from being pregnant to giving birth to raring that mini me. Maybe I think too much. It has got to be because literally everyone who is married around me now has at least a kid.

That also brings me to wonder, what does these people see so much in a kid? I mean I could see more cons than pros in it. Some parents which I think is an absolute sour grapes to our freedom often lament the things we are missing. Like what exactly? Many of these people can just give me the standard account of joy having a kid which I have been hearing since I could understand adults. So what is new eh?

And the best part is, some parents are so into that boring parenthood thingy that they profess they have gone through our kind of life and this bit with the tinies is better, apparently. But I would like to express my view of a kid-less person that these parents have failed to go through the part of financial stability with all d freedom in this world when you literally feel the world is in your hands.

Other point which I detest about these parents is their deceiving perception that they are the most selfless people in this world!!! Just because they are responsible for some kid. In the eyes of a kidless person, I personally feel they are quite the opposite! Most often than not they are to busy and protective over their brood that all they care is their kid and family, other people can be whatever to he'll they care. Besides, they would never have time for anyone else but their kid and the family. I noticed this in almost every of the family people around me.

On those colleagues, especially those who have missed their freedom, they so utterly crave to get away from their family when opportunity arises, especially when there are function in the office to make the excuse. Crap shit. And some losers mandates us to join in the name of team building... God. Please save us.

Obviously they have the most say because they are the majority! Hahaha.. Funny people eh...

Well enough hantam of these boring bunch of people. For all I know when I actually become one I am worst than all I have said. Haha... But for this one, while I can't possibly beat them I will definitely NOT join them. Such freaks... Hehehe...

Yoga

I had yoga yesterday, Parul said something I realized has been manifesting me ever since I took up yoga some 3 years back.

Yoga is the time to be with yourself. To give it back to yourself. Every other day we give our time to everyone and everything but hardly do we stop to give back the time to ourselves.

I realised it is only when I am able to spend sometime with my mind, body and soul as one, it is when I am able to give more that I ever could imagine.

I guess one needs to love one self enough to love others. The body is such that, you need to harness and spend some time to be with one self in peace.

I supposed that is the reason I often say yoga brings back my sanity. It has to be. Otherwise I would be all cranky and difficult all the time...

Saturday Rant

I did the crazy again. Went to see yet another Cayman. I fell in love again. It's a very dark grey, almost black Cayman this round. It is so awesomely beautiful.

I have no other words to say besides that. Oh, just one more thing, I want to own and drive that car. Full stop. Sigh. *breathless*

I guess that is the very reason I am still lingering in the rat race... hmmm!

Anyway, I need to admit that Zac Effron is THE guy of this age. Or generation or how ever you want to put it. He is so, so cute. Beats all other cute guys ever roam, as far as I am concerned. Even Brat Pitt or Tom Cruise or whoever else. Yeah, this is coming from a 34 year old. Hehe... and that smile. That so utterly cute smile which could melt any girl.

I have been busy with my writing now. My mind is pretty much pre-occupied whenever I have the spare time and I feel good about it. It's like one of those times when I can literally pour and pour and pour my mind into it. It is soul filling.

My body however is aching here and there today. Again, from the yoga on Friday. Whenever I have a class with Parul, that is it. The aches. It's pure working out whenever she teaches us. No one would believe the amount of sweat I poured during yoga class. It is as much as walking up a hill for a long 1 hour. We did a series of astanga yesterday and were only half done. Imagine if we did the entire complete series, I would be dead. I don't know if it is the age thingy or it is just strenuous. Hehe...

As I am typing this, I have to say that I am so done with that cow SOL. So, so done. I don't think any of her feat to measure up with me would take a millimeter of effect anymore. She is so yesterday. Hehe... yes, she really is.

So much for now, continuing my chilling... be well.

I Rest My Case

I received this and the list of others when I loaded my e-mail first thing in the morning when I reach work. Well, today, this made a little giggle out of me... nice way to start a morning as opposed to what I had yesterday.

Reminds me to love life.
===========================
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring.

He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.

Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"'Accepted, have a good day, sir,"' replied the trooper.

===========================
Anyway, before I ended my crap Thursday yesterday, I have to say God has His ways in reminding me about my self worth, somehow. Out of the blue I received this text at 10.32pm from Mala of the home I help out,

"Just to say Hi. And just to say this to you. You know, there are so many people that I respect so much in life and I always look up on them as my example. When I'm sad, down or feeling troubled, I will remember them. Sis, you are one of them whom I'm so proud of! So don't give up! We pray together for strength. Be strong! Love always. Good night."

This, was the most wonderful thing a person can say to another person especially when the person is all grouchy and irritable. Is that a coincident or what? Yeah, things has its ways don't they?

==========================
While I was leaving the office yesterday, still mad with the world, I was walking towards the car park where my car is. Guess what was park in front of me while I trotted?

A very, very handsome night blue Cayman!

Awwwww... that was the first honest smile for the day.

Things has its ways don't they?

=========================
I rest my case, life is good.

I am SO Piss

I came to work feeling very piss this morning. Very, very piss. The piss was from the moment I woke to the entire drive to work and then it loomed in the office. Sigh.

I have not felt this piss for a long time. Irritated always but not piss.

I'm piss with everything. I just want to get away from all this crap I am going through honestly.

I'm piss with having to go to Eugene's parents house like every other day. I am not complaining about his parents ie. my in-laws. They are superb people but I just am tired by the fact of "going there" all the time and doing just nothing or having the need to find something to do while I am there.

I'm piss that I can't be left alone to do my writings (people have this tendency of yakking their hearts out when I am trying to write).

I'm piss because I bought fruits for Eugene to eat and he keeps forgetting it and when it's almost rotten, all he does is tells me he don't want to want to eat them at all, despite not all of them are rotten. There are times when the fruits are fast turning bad, I eat them up but all I get is him asking me why did I not keep some for him. Give me a break!

I'm piss because I wanted to go for a holiday and I have been waiting here for the longest time and I don't know when it will materialise... I'm so fucking bored at work and fucking tired with the office.

I'm piss because lately I have not been getting really good sleep since Eugene has been snoring very loudly the whole night and it keeps waking me up many times in a night. I'm not piss with him but the noise.

I'm piss because the moment the dawn breaks, the fucking construction behind my Condo starts and all the buzzing and humming starts it's orchestra in terrible 10-11 hours of symphony EVERYDAY except Sunday. And by the time I get home which is late, there is now another machine roaring all throughtout the night disturbing the peace of the night which I badly need the tranquility to install some sanity.

I'm piss because I have a boss who is just everywhere and when I ask him for working stuff of this and that, I always get stupid answers or resolution, depending on this mood. WTF.

I'm piss because my boss has the knack to generously offer help to my colleagues but by end of the day, he WILL NOT BE THE ONE doing it but everyone else of us. Is that what you call team spirit? Hah! Anyone of us here don't need just the physical presence please.

I'm piss because my boss ask me to do things which is unneccesary and time wasting half of the time. Like I have already made copies and copies for him of whatever decks but he never bothers keeping it for records and make reference when the need arises. If he wants to review them, all he convinietly does is come to me and ask for a reprint. Like 2x? 3x? Like for a 30 pager deck? Or when I have already mail him the entire gist, I am still asked to print the e-mail and its attachment AGAIN and AGAIN if he loses it and AGAIN if I reminded him to look into it. WTF.

I'm piss because I just can't be left alone to do all the things I like all the time because something and somewhere will have something else for me to do...argh!

I'm piss because my mum has this attitude about making things difficult for my brother half of the time and it is taking the toll on everyone including my brother's relationships. At one hand she's my mum, the things are getting tough.

I'm piss because I am so tired to all of the above and I just want to be left alone yet no one is willing to do just that for me. Argh!

There...everything off my chest now. I'm done pissing!

Uncles and Aunties

I have concluded that the older a person gets, no matter who or what happens around them, an old bamboo IS an old bamboo. They just can't bend anymore or bend any further. They just can't. And they stop from trying, pushing or driving. Be it whatever. Unless it is for pleasure, that, they can act as if they are still sweet 16. Or they see by doing this something, it would bring them to the next level in the corporate ladder.

It is true when they say when you reach a certain ripe age in the rat race you need to be at least somewhere up there. If you are neither here nor there, that is when my paragraph 1 refers.

Do you know what's the repercussion?

The 1 and 2 generation below them would have to cringe over their idiosyncrasies by exercising their good eyes with eye rolling motion every now and then. All the time, so long as they are there, working amongst us. This is Asia, we don't literally shove these folks aside and make our way. Unless the big boss initiates it.

In Malaysia and Singapore, we typically identify them as the "Uncles" and "Aunties."

Not only are they unfocused, loss and troublesome in unnecessary ways, they are slow and less sharp. But all is not loss, they still contribute a good deal in their wealth of experience but the attitude they seep is remarkably... errr, how shall I put it? Tiring.

I know as a matter of fact if I don't reach 'there' at the higher top by the time I reach 40, I would by all means end up like them.

So, I have more of less decided that if I'm such a mediocre by then, I will just quit and get some job that fits my then ways. Like being a librarian, administration, store keeper, tutor or some artsy stuff that doesn't require such dynamism.

Anyway, yes, I'm just hanging on here, with all the world's patience I have garnered thus far... sabar je la.

You Can't Break The Spirit

"Like all great characters, it's part saint, part sinner."

The tagline of the Porsche billboard advertisement at the entrance to my house. I see it every time and every day I am about to turn into my house. How can I not remember this tagline by heart now. I literally read it everytime my car stops for the traffic. Over and over and over.

I'm enthralled by this ad because they have 2 of my favorite cars in it. There, sprawled shamelessly, a black Cayman parked opposite a white Boxster.

What is a gal supposed to do but to get one for herself rite? Heheh...

I asked Eugene just the other day to give me that Terrence who works for Porsche Malaysia's telephone number so I can desperately ask him for a small replica of this billboard advert in poster size. But all I got was, "Don't disturb him. Why don't you go into the showroom near your office and ask."

Well, who in the right frame of mind is going to give me a free poster just because I am totally mad about it? Do you think the staff in Porsche will be touched that I am a big fan of the ad and will generously give me one

I don't think so. I think they will all keep it for themselves, or give it to their relative who digs Porsh or, hang it in their bedroom wall or better still, sell it to fans like me for a nominal fee. Malaysians

So... while I am still gaga over it for many months (which proves my genuine love), I have made this HANDMADE printed and IMPROVISED version so that I CAN HAVE IT AT MY WORKSTATION

You can break a man but you can never break the spirit!

What's Next?

Just over the weekend I made a statement, "That is it, if I were to quit my job, I have decided to be a gym instructor and a writer."

"In 2 years time, you should be able to do whatever you like," Eugene said.

Quitting the corporate world has been playing in my mind every now and then. And it gets more intense when I am bored with work. But I honestly don't know by the time it really comes, would I have the courage to take that plunge.

I would love to be left alone to be with my writings where I am allowed my mind to run freely around like wild horses in the endless meadows and hills. I would love to be left to make all the cards there is to make in this world. I would love to have the time to read my hearts out and I would still love to workout while earning some dough out of it.

These are things that I can do with a word of 'love' in it.

But, that is the difference. The plunge would mean I would give up all efforts I have been harnessing for a good 12 years. And that also means, I would need to now learn to adjust my life pretty much 360 degrees with a no need to work within clockwork precision and its monotonous ways which has been ingrained into my skeletal. These are the feelings and thoughts I have not really given a thought about. But of course, the comprehension can be done when the 2 years comes.

I do wonder though.

Let's see. Let's just see what's next. Oh, I can't wait...

Pretty Little Missile

I can't help not laughing. One of my card orders requested that I am to have these written, "From your pretty little missile" and she suggested I get a picture / cartoon / object depicting a missile.

Where do you expect me to find it?

Absolutely no idea!

But she's one cute fella I say. Her uncanny ways reminds me of me when I am hyped up. Haha...

What I did for her was Googled some pix of missile and had it cartoonized. Some of my hidden talent apparently (heheh) and yay, it looked like a chubby, cute, little missile eh (tho not pretty, maybe I should add lashed to the missile to be 'pretty"?)...hahaha...

Things I have to do I tell you...

-------------------------------------

Check out what I got here... tee-hee-hee, don't ask me how! Handmade by yours truly. What a cutie!

Sleep Tight And Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite...

This is a lovely note I 'excerpted' written to someone from this someone this person loves... I wonder...

"...I can't begin in exact words how much I miss talking to you. It has been weeks since I last caught you. My mind is occupied with the yearning to speak to you yet I don't know when will that be. Despite everything which has happened between us for the longest time, I have concluded that this thing we share has so much fate in it. Fate decides when we speak, fate decides if we would ever meet again and fate decides our very own ways. But I do know, fate has made it that in every point in my and your life, we will cross path just to have a brush over the love.

That is the thing. I wonder when is the next path?

I miss you so. By mere fact of talking to you is enough to make me happy. Enough to assure me you are well and safe. Enough to feel the love. Enough to feel deeply.

Sometimes, I wonder if you love me as much as I love you. Just a wonder. It would be sweet if you do, but it does not really matter. I don't demand love. I just love. And I have decided long ago that I just love you. You are special. I love you for you.

But I just want it the way it is now. Our path has made it such that we are meant to venture our separate ways, with our own journey, our own adventure, our own destiny.

But I just want you to know that where ever I dwell, you have and will be close to my heart. You will always be close to my thoughts. You will be in my prayers. And, you will always be welcome. Always.

I guess, some love are meant to be. Just like this.

That is the thing, when you love someone, you will miss the person, regardless.

Regardless too, when you sleep remember it is my whisper you will be hearing, wishing you a good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...."