Darn

Ah hah, I left for home long AFTER the sun set. There is something about me and my promises at work. See.

Anyway I return office like a sunken hero. But nevermind all these already because I'm 100% flying off to Bali for many, many, many days.

The thing about many, many days on an island generally have the general people wondering what the heck do I do there especially when it's hot and humid. Well, let's just say if you don't understand how a person can just do nothing and live by the beach day bin, day out, don't bother asking me. It's just that despite how much explanation I give, there will never be any form of comprehension. Full stop.

Today I am tired. As in mentally and physically. All the accumulated toss and turn nights and stress at work plus episode of travelling to Europe anxiety is taking a toll. I am starting to wonder if really my aches on my left feet and right ass to thigh muscle is caused by lack of rest.

I'm giving myself until I return to see my condition.

Last but not least, I got into a minor accident yesterday. I'll write about this later because I have this inclination to touch on capitalism and vulture alike characters of people somehow. See how I get inspiration to serious writing? By even a mere accident!

Alrighty people, my eyes are failing... Till then, good night.

Flying In and Out

Finally.

Eugene is back. Safely. I am happy and relieve. My poor guy doesn't need to worry and live by being one of the thousands of stranded traveller 'status.' Hehe…

But my mum made me laugh a lot about it. When news got it that he managed to board the A380 at the very last minute, Eugene's mum called my mum to share the joyous moment (it was perceived as if Eugene was loss in a war torn country with no food and shelter for days and finally, was rescued by the Malaysian Royal airforce of something of that sort to return to Motherland).

My mum went like this, "I thank God for finding Eugene a seat to board the plane. I prayed SOOO hard to God. I told God, "Please God, please make just 1 seat for Eugene so he could safely return to Malaysia". And praise the Lord, he answered my prayers. Praise the Lord."

I was smirking over the other side of the line.

Then I cheekily to my mum, "Ohhhh, now I know, you didn't pray hard for MY trip there, that's why my trip got cancelled."

So yes, I now believe the power of a mother's prayer.

Does that mean now that everytime I need something badly, I would give my mum a hollar and ask for her prayers?

Hahah…

Well, as far as I am concerned, mine didn't work, definitely. And I blame it to the fact that my faith and trust in God isn't enough. It has to be. I'm too cynical. I'm too atheist corrupted. I'm too liberal. That's why.

The next now, I may just get off on a plane this Sunday to the Islands of God. Let's see how things turn out to be with the reservations. Seemed to be marking my annual pilgrimage trip back to where I heart belongs, time and again. Somehow, the headwind always blow be back to this island again and again. Somehow. Call it fate. Everytime I decide to leave for Bali, everything just works out magically. It must be the Bali Gods who loves me unrelentlessly. It just must be.

Isn't it Bali the 6th now? 

Ah hah, I left for home long AFTER the sun set. There is something about me and my promises at work. See.

Anyway I return office like a sunken hero. But nevermind all these already because I'm 100% flying off to Bali for many, many, many days.

The thing about many, many days on an island generally have the general people wondering what the heck do I do there especially when it's hot and humid. Well, let's just say if you don't understand how a person can just do nothing and live by the beach day bin, day out, don't bother asking me. It's just that despite how much explanation I give, there will never be any form of comprehension. Full stop.

Today I am tired. As in mentally and physically. All the accumulated toss and turn nights and stress at work plus episode of travelling to Europe anxiety is taking a toll. I am starting to wonder if really my aches on my left feet and right ass to thigh muscle is caused by lack of rest.

I'm giving myself until I return to see my condition.

Last but not least, I got into a minor accident yesterday. I'll write about this later because I have this inclination to touch on capitalism and vulture alike characters of people somehow. See how I get inspiration to serious writing? By even a mere accident!

Alrighty people, my eyes are failing... Till then, good night.

At this moment, I'm feeling piss. Piss over the volcano, piss that my prayers go unheard (just like when I badly wanted it answered when my daddy was dying). Piss that I have to still get back to the fucking office. Piss that things just has to obstruct me so often lately when I am bounded to travel somewhere.

Just sick and piss. I'm just sick of everything.

So I spent about RM1k over the span of 4 days. Some people say they don't know how to spend their money apparently, they should pay me to teach them.

Spending actually makes me feel good, believe me not! Especially when one is sick and/or piss. Haha.

What I got:
1. A cute beige dress rm189
2. A fine checkered black and white pants for work rm169
3. A finely embroiled flowers blue shirt rm169
4. Running pants rm179
5. A book rm22
6. A 2 hour massage rm100
7. A pedicure rm40
8. Tights and socks rm170
9. Card materials rm200

See... Kakaka.

This weekend I plan to spend some more since I can't shop in Rome:
1. A beige shoe rm2265
2. 3 months rental for the kids home rm2700
3. Probably a wallet rm1500

See? How one can spend if one wants to?

Anyway if anyone of you would like to help me out with the 8 months overdue rental, please e-mail me at buttercupsnsunshine@gmail.com. If you don't trust me with your money, ask me for their contact, which allows you to speak to the home directly.

Anyway due to my grumpiness, I will leave office before the sun goes down even if I have got work. Work got to learn how to give way, somehow and take the back stage. Enough is enough.

What is next?

I registered for KL Half Marathon this 27 June so training here I come!

Just when I thought my knees are back on it's feet, it is giving tinges of breakdown today. I blame that 2.5 inch stiletto I had on Monday! Darn those shoes! They are not made for runners even on casual days!!! They are knee killers!!!!

And yes, that is the reason I need a RM 2k shoe. Ask no further...

I'm also contemplating to revive my climbing escapade since it's so near my home. I just need to find a kaki. I think it'll do me good... Let's see.

Anyway so much for now. My eyes are failing on me, lids are heavy and Mr Sandman is waiting. Good nitey... *muak*

Darn The Ashes n Running Thusfar

I did some shopping today and as usual splurge a ghod sum for my travelling stuff and not mentioning the additionals.

Speaking of which about travelling, my current state of emotional and sound mind is beeping it's sadness and frustration given the cancelled flights to Europe at this moment. Whatever feeling words can describe over these episode equates to it double.

Such is my feeling at the moment. Though I am praying hard along with vows made if EVER I can get on that scheduled flight, I am more than happy to keep my words for it. IF that really happens. I think my vows are worthy for the betterment of the home I help out and moving forward other unfortunate homes. Such is my pledge. And I mean every word.

Anyway, I did 13k today. Within 1hr, 20mins. I'm happy I'm not getting aches from run especially the knee but given that everything strenghtens as I train for June, I should be working on my timing. As I always say to myself, no use racing if I fall under sub-standard.

Of course the ambitious me aims for 2 hours for a 21k. Let's see.

So much for now, mind is already wondering on the next destination and it's plan if this sucker trip fails... Thinking...

Happy Weekend

I am supposed to be going out with the woman I thought was my friend today for drinks, until I told you that I realised, I'm just a her-sanity-purpose friend.

I refuse to call her to tell her the plan is cancel. I refuse to even acknowledge I am dissapointed. I just refuse to communicate. Feeling that I need not even bother to hold any form of courtesy to the person whom isn't really true. Like, let's-not-waste-time kinda feeling.

I thought I wanted to get back to work but somehow my thoughts came to this. Of a sudden.

And so, this missy here is going to be all on her own over the weekend, with her smelly pillows, big cushiony bed, beloved books, sweet lovely artsy stuff, writing, a short, singlet, flip flops and totally unruly hair. But that's my world I guess. That's my very, very own world… Happy weekend people...

A Good Friend

I realized I am a sucker for sad love song. Or is it that, sad love songs are better written than happy love songs? With this, I trust anyone as a matter of fact, would be able to at least identify 1 sad love song that strikes them. Awww, don't give me the look. It's true. Haha.

I feel like talking about my heart today. Somehow, this sentimental bug got me again.

I was flipping through my iphone, self shuffling my songs. Pre and post genre of today. And I stumbled upon songs I used to love. Still love. But you know how some songs bring back nostalgic memories when you are living at that moment in time.

I was just reminded of a good friend, in fact, very extremely good friend then, but now "just-friends" because of what I have done.

The story goes that we became friends from mutual friends. And we got closer because he had an accident that broke his leg. This got him into a cast for a year long and he could do nothing but recuperate at home. And by the virtue that my mum is the mother of queen control (which resulted me being a mega recluse in my teenage years because I am often not allowed to wonder the street with my vagabond friends), RG became my friend.

So fate has it that I could only yak on the telephone and coincidently, he is always available in his home because of his condition. See how this fits? How is it that I ended companying him and vice versa via the only means of communication - the telephone.

We talked in the mornings. We talked in the evenings. We talked at nights. We talked about our lives. We talked about our dreams. We talked about almost everything just like 2 very good friends. And so we went on.

But at the time of his recovery, which fell somewhere near Valentines, he sent me a Valentine card. In this card, as I could recall, he has hundreds of tiny little words that formed many, many, many sentences all over the entire card, confessing how much he likes me. In today's term, love me.

I was partly surprise. Partly flattered. Partly sad.

Because, RG was always my best friend. RG was always the one who is there for me. RG was the one who makes me laugh. RG was the one who threaded the same lines of thoughts in my life. It was all RG.

But always, RG is one of my best friend. I love RG. I like RG. But as a friend.

So, my surprise came that RG has some chemistry for me. My flatter was that given the nerd I was, there was someone out there who is interested in me. My sadness was because RG is always my best friend. And so, I knew, from that day onwards, I would never have this very same friendship. Much as I would want it to last.

This was the turn of our friendship. When I told him after reading the very sweet card that it is impossible to be together, that was it. I broke his poor heart. I can't remember the exact words I said over the phone but it was somewhere along that line.

We drifted then on.

I went on with my life. I went to college, uni, graduated, returned from OZ, got a job in KL, struggled, did my Masters, in between got to know a lot of people, dated, broke hearts and got broken, met Eugene, got married, built my career, built a life and here I am.

But the fact of the matter remains that, while we did meet many times together with mutual friends, I don't think RG has forgotten the episode on this. Nor would I choose to believe he forgave me for not reciprocating that feeling he had. Because, things were never, ever the same, again.

So RG, if you happen to read this today. I can't say more how much I still appreciate you as a good friend. But it is ok if you don't. It is ok that you feel I have betrayed your feelings. Somehow after this 16-17 years of growing up, you are still my friend. A good friend.

Updates

Eugene left today. To Switzerland. I am still here. Pretty much waiting for my time to get there in exactly a week's time. But I already feel excited on his behalf. Probably because the travelling is on a 380 and, that I badly needed a break away from the hectic city life I have been consuming for the longest time my memory could serve me.

But this 1 week would be much work and exercising because 11 solid days of non exercising is definitely going to kill me good. So I'm actually taking storage of exercising hard, if there is such a thing.

I would be setting my little size 4.5 feet in Zurich, Venice, Florence and finally the infamous Rome. And I already know without doubt I will love every places I go.

Work has still been hard on me but not that tough struggle as it initially was. I given a small breather for now. And I am still not letting my guards off even. No way hosey with such a hot plate job.

But I always console myself that no one in this world would pay me rather handsomely for an easy job. As I always say, nothing is free. So, just shut up and do the work... Haha.

Anyway, for all the drama and dissatisfaction I have been tip toeing through about my tennis matters, I have finally firmed a new coach for myself. This time it is a one to one coach. It would save all my energy on girly bickering and womanly crap. Phew. But I told myself I will still go on with my classes with the girls just for the sake of keeping my stand. Whatever that means.

Just pray that this new coach is a nice guy and I don't need to tolerate attitude problem. *Pray* Having all said and done, I will commence the following week I return from Europe. Pretty much looking forward to continue learning and be better.

Just one more thing that was on my mind lately too. I got a friend whom I thought is a friend now confirm is not a friend. I'm very disappointed with her in many way. And so I have decided to just be in my relationship with this person.

I have cone to realize she only calls me when she needs my advice or opinion but never for anything else. When she goes through pain and misery she will appear in my life, indirectly garnering support. When her life is cruising cool and jolly happy, I don't hear a single sound of her. That is how it is.

And just several days back, she called asking to borrow 4k from me.

See what I mean?

I did not lend the sum she asked but I lend something. And as a person I am, I refuse to ask her why she was so desperate for the dough. I just gave what I could and I didn't also give her advice cum bag cum lecture for asking me the 2 nd time to lend.

But yes I am disappointed because I am made to feel she only needs me when she needs help. Sad. That is actually how much I am worth to people... Sad.

Anyways, no fret. Life is too short to over linger on people like her. I have a lot more to be happy for.

Till then, it's me signing off for now.

Recent Brush With Funnies

As I was advising The Mistake not to take The Pissed seriously and personally, because we meet all kinds of people in our lifetime, I can’t help putting a note to the funniest I have met when making cards for people, stupid remarks people make in my FB comment column, people I supposedly considered a friends and the things they say and do to me and the people in general when they tell me things.

Sometimes, I am sure these people think I am as dumb as I look, I think. That they think, I have a chicken brain and that my years of getting a Masters and being who I am now were all pure coincident dropped from Heaven as a gift from God because he is so utterly kind that he armed me with such blessings so I could survive amongst the world shoals of piranhas.

It just got to be.

This ex-classmate in my Masters class made a remark about me being angry with the world because I had this written, “Do you know why we could never have world peace? Because half of the people were born ass-holes.”

I was giving her remark a thought. So I replied her in as much kind as I could that the fact of the matter is such and that I have no choice but to face reality of life. It’s just short of telling her, while she lives in her sordid world of 3 kids, in her education job (or isn’t she a full time mother now?), architect husband and has a life revolving around her family and comforts of her church life and church friends, she is as ignorant as a bat living its day and night in a stale smelling cave.

And to get smart ass remarks from someone who lives within her little world, perplexes me a lot. I have not even put a remark about her ignorant, selfish life who has been only dedicating it to everything around her that makes er feel great about herself (Note the ‘her’ everywhere). So fucking comfortable and she has the cheek to lament about me. Plus, I don’t see why I have to pretend that everything around me is fine and jolly. I’m no hypocrite to begin with. Urgh.

God.

I also had one of the woman deleted from my list of friends because she is always making smart alec remarks., like telling me how to lead my life. Oh. Look-who-is-talking. Wait, I can’t even remember who exactly she is because for the life of me, she is that irrelevant. I’m honestly trying to pick my brains what exactly is her name, but I still can’t recall as I am typing these sentences. Haha… so far so good, my mind has indeed deleted her off conveniently as I have ‘x’ her off from my list of friends. Yak yak yak.

Then I have an ex-college mate whom I got connected in FB. As we were chatting about our lives and catching up with all that has been missing, when it came to our jobs, and while we were exchanging on the things we are doing in life, all she could answer me is to check out the webpage of her company profile which directs me who she in the company. Like WTF was that?

Showing off? Trying to tell me she has reached somewhere in life? Or was it trying to rub how successful she has been despite me being better in school back then?

Common.

And yes, she was apparently the Financial Controller to this little courier company, called… errr, I can’t remember the name too. All I could recall is that the company’s corporate color is red and black.

Then I have this person whom always never to cease calling me ‘one of her best friend.’ Priceless friend I should say. She only appears in my life when she has got problems with the man she is having affair with. If you get my drift. Always and always. And she will spend hours on the line with me, dwelling over the same issue over and over and over again about that bloody man. And I, the idiot friend, would hang on to advising her over and over again, giving her the moral support to do the right things in life.

While I have no right to call him bloody, he is a bloody fool. Because while he refuses to leave the family for her and yet, promises her the Heavens and yet, she the idiot who always tells me she have decided to leave him who never does, I wonder in what way am I ever one of the best friends that whenever there are good things happening around her life, I am never part of it.

Like she conveniently, just drop a note today telling me she won’t be attending any tennis classes with me for this month due to personal problem.

The fact of the matter is, if she could share with me her most intimate issues, is she telling me she can’t even share with me what her personal problems are as ‘one of her best friend’?

And, mean as I was, I said this to myself, “No wonder she is still where she is, living under the shadow of a man who only wanted her for his very own selfish reasons.And no wonder, she could tolerate a Keling. She’s acting like one anyway.”

I know. I sound mean but that is how I feel about it. Betrayed. Because people use such words of ‘best friends’ and the likes so loosely. Nothing is worthy anymore when people cheat others of their feelings just for the purpose of themselves.

I’m not angry. Just feeling pure crap that I actually meet such people. That is all. But I’m not disturbed. Just mild irritation.

If tomorrow she comes to me and start pouring her sorrows again, I will be my usual self, lending my 2 ears again. I am sure. I am such a person and I would still give her my sincere advice which I truly mean.

Then I have also this funny person who I was merely conveying a message from my tennis coach that he doesn’t have enough racquets this coming week so if they (my friends) would like to get their own racquet, do contact him. I got one reply from this person in 5 exact words, “Tell him got no money la.”

WTF. Why don’t she just send that message directly to him. I’m just the messenger.

Of course, when I was sick with purging 2 weeks back which I took a Friday off because I was just tired and lack of sleep due to the late night WC escapades, when I got back to work on Monday, Pathetic J asked me if I did not come to work because I was just too frustrated with my Boss who told me off n Thursday.

This is what exactly I am trying to say. People just think I am so stupid and incapable in handling anything just because I happened to be younger by a decade and probably by now, better than him in a lot of things at work.

Again, I am not trying to blow my trumpet here but I’m trying to give examples on the insecurity in people and the means they used to put me down just so they feel good about themselves. He means it that if I were to admit I was very affected by my Boss’s telling me off, he would advice me whatever BS he has in mind so he will feel like a big brother to the little ones in the department.

If that is the case, if he is such a big brother, why is it that he HAS to fucking get me to literally do or sought long winded step-by-step how toa on reporting and forecasting related work on his portfolio everytime boss asked to get it done???

Ish…

Anyway, these are mere examples of funny people in my life thusfar whoms have been looming around me offlate. There is definitely more but I am just running out of time to lament them for the records.

So by and large, I honestly don’t care if I have those 370++ friends in FB because as far as I am concern, I have only within my 10 little fingers of friends whom I can really count on when I am in need of a shoulder to cry on or an ear to fret to. Other than that, they are mere condiments to my life, trying hard to make some color to it by means of their funny ways.

Life is indeed funny. Funny people from the funny farm.

The Prob with Us Asians

Yesterday, something crazy happened within my team. Let’s put it that, one did not do her work as she was supposed to unintentionally (as it was an honest ignorant mistake), and the other got pisses because she missed her movie having to pick the former’s shit, the other who could have helped left home because she had to attend to her family matter, and me, the aka supervisor, told the former she can leave after training since all is well at the front.

And so, The Pissed wrote a nasty note to The Mistake, cc The Family Matter and me about it.

The Family messaged me, feeling all bad, and The Mistake called The Family, crying over it. Then The Family messaged me asking if I could call The Mistake to calm her down.

See the mess?

See why I don’t like to have convent to a team of people? See my point now?

Sigh.

Luckily I am back on my feet and I put off all heated fire as much as I could, as neutral as I could for the best of everyone.

I am part to be blame as well. But I am not saying this to my defence, but I honestly did not know we could check the system after submission once the system shuts. I thought, we can’t view for even checking purposes.

OK, so we all screwed up. But then again, I honestly don’t think there is a need for such outburst though I am truly feeling bad that The Pissed missed her movie. There could have been a work around it like The Pissed could have asked The Mistake to return to work and fix the problem instead of taking it all upon herself.

Just tell me. I would have asked The Mistake to come back, like it or not. And I am VERY sure The Mistake would come back as she never meant to be mean, or not do her job well.

See my point now?

Why it is also that generally we Malaysians or even Asians has such problem?

1. We say all kinds of nasty things to people when we are angry without filtering the words. In short, we don’t stick to the issue in hand including the cause of the matter before we fire people just because it effects / hurt us – lack of understanding and tolerance.

2. We on the other hand, while being piss over it, refuse to transfer the problem as a shared one especially when we know it is not just our problem – lack of communication skills.

3. So we brood, and we take it upon ourselves and we then lash all kinds of harshness around everyone, feeling it is our very right to say and act how we please because we have sacrificed ourselves for others – lack of generosity and open heartedness.

4. Then we claimed to the world how unfair life has been to us – lack of forgiveness and letting go.

I am not denying that The Pissed has every right to be angry but…

And so I’m NOT going to be the woman of all woman and start going all over like everyone has to the issue. We’ll just move forward. Mend those broken bridges. Take a breather. Learn from lessons. And move on.

Easy to say don’t I?

But what better way to move on? What use to brood over matters when it’s all done and said?

I can’t think of anything else. Tomorrow is going to be another day. And so is tomorrow and so is tomorrow and so is the day after tomorrow. The world doesn’t care if you have a problem or otherwise, it just goes on. And as fallible humans, we just need to move on, taking as less garbage as we can so we could live, at least… cest la vie. Cast la vie.

Bad Omen

For the time being, I am laying low with the sale of my Stallion because the sale of cars in the market seemed to have quieten down plenty. I don’t even have a single caller from the last advertisement. Imagine. But I have several ways to look at it.

1st, I think the forces of things are indeed not moving so by economic sense, it would take awhile for my car to move before I can get the K-man in. That’s quite a kill joy.

2nd, I think someone is praying very hard that I will not own one everyday. I know I sound very cynical and negative but I really can’t help having such thoughts as indeed there is the cow SOL who would have prayed to her Kwan Yin that I will not end up better than her. Trust me on this piece. I’m damn sure she utters prayers under her breath every other day hoping my dreams don’t get realized. Anyway, I pray for that bad intention of hers to return to her, may she fucking rot in hell.

3rd. To look at things on a positive note, I can have more money to save now and that means, I may just as well end up getting the 911 or even Aston if it is REALLY that long that my car gets sold. That also means, dear SOL, the bottom line story is, I will either way be better than you because it’s either I have more money than you, or I will drive a nicer car than you. Hahah… *evil laugh* Talk about stupid.

Speaking of which, I have double concluded that my life is indeed shrouded with bad people like SOL. In fact, she is my biggest bad omen I could think of.

Imagine she even cares who I report to in the office. Do I report to the Country Risk Head or the Department Risk Head as compared to her? Am I a VP or just an AVP? Even if she has the privy to my salary, she would by all means, ensure she makes more than me. I mean, honest to God, does she ever think she’s just wasting her time and life merely chasing after me for perpetually everything?

I mean to begin with, even my husband is better looking for hers. And smarter (sorry Eugene, when it comes to competition, I need to arm myself with everything I have, even at the expense of your brother). And takes life in far more liberated holistic approach.

And for her to feel so utter good about herself, she works so deliberately hard to ensure she ends up better than me. While I am not denying she is making me her benchmark of success, I wish I am in the mood to point to her that she has indeed so utter far from the benchmark.

Where is the marathon running? Where is the distance cycling? Where is the artsy piece? Where is the writing bit? Where is reading love? Where is the piece of non-material stuff? Where?

I am not making fun about her, Nor am I making myself feel good about the things I do in life. I am just putting things into perspective as to why I can’t understand her need for me to feed her success?

I mean, what the fuck does she want me for?

Harn Ni has been right. I should not be bothered because that is all she is and after all she looks up to me that much to have me as a yardstick.

But the point is, she doesn’t want to just reach where I am but she wants to beat it to me. THAT IS THE FUCKING POINT THAT PISSES me of big time.

Sometimes, in my little world, I wish I have the tenacity to tell her on the face to stop being such a loser and lead her fucking own life without copying me all through it. I wish to tell her to get her own identity and stop trying to hard to be better than me. I wish to tell her I hate her to my guts for these all. I even wish to tell her the biggest regrets in my life is to have introduced her to Eugene’s brother. I am of course, saying he deserves better than this half-looking-man, with voice of a she-man, thinking the world is in her hands.

I wish. But I realised anyway, not all wishes comes true. More so if they are malicious wishes that hurt people.

Oh well.

Just a drop of bad thoughts here. Afterall, what’s the use of my blog if not to vent my what-ever-feelings.

OK, next post on my next thoughts…

Brooding's Over

I am feeling better today in fact. Much better than my weighted moodiness I have been in for the past 2 weeks (more like since my last post in the blog). And I should say I am getting back on my feet, getting a grip of things and moving on with the much awaited load of shits that has been piling on my plate for the longest 2 weeks of brooding.

Amongst the things that I have to catch up is my exercise regime. I have ran lesser (VERY obviously), did no yoga and cycled even lesser. The one and only thing which was constant were my tennis classes I attend week in, week out. I’m just happy with myself on this piece. Nothing more.

But, I need to get back on my lazy feet and start locking the 25 clicks per week and more if I were to finish within 2 hours for a half marathon. I need to get back doing yoga at last 2x a week. And my body is starting to feel the effects of non-exercising. Like when I was easily feeling tired by the time 3-4pm hits or even today, while the trainer as babbling over some Excel formulas, my brains were fuzzy with dotes of grogginess. I felt so tired. I went to the toilet for a pee and when I looked myself in the mirror, boy, I sure look shitty. I looked like a druggie without her dose.

That is how much lack of adrenalin rush I’m short, just when people lament how much lack of sex they are not getting.

Finally, my very stressed up planning for the Europe trip is settled. I have all relevant flights, trains and hotel which is within my choice and budget booked. But I have to say, this time around, due to the lack of time (thanks to Holiday Tours for their efficiency of confirming Eugene’s flight at the very last hour) I was really, scrambling to get everything right within a short span of time. The feat itself isn’t fun. I don’t have the luxury of time to over loom over my choices in each region I plan to harbor. It evoked more stress than it should and I believe that made me even moodier than I was.

I shall now, sit back and enjoy what I have planned and just go with the flow from now on… no more stress since hotels are booked, planes are booked and trains are booked. My only concern now is IF the darn tickets get to me in time. *PRAY*

Though I have been brooding. My thoughts have been lingering on almost everywhere and everything and everybody.

When I was purging for several days which left me with even not wanting to do anything but read my books, I managed to complete The Historian at that point in time.

How shall I put about this book? I have never really comment a book in my blog post but I think I should make an exception to this simply because it was a 800 pager book!!! Between my crazy work and dramatic life, 800 pager is not a joke.

I find The Historian a combination of a lot of things. Historical fact and a story teller’s line. But what I like about the book is, it got idiots like me going on reading it till the end. Though at some point, it gets a little naggy, most parts are simply interesting to pull me through page after page. But, what I not like about The Historian is, after all the searching and toiling, the ending left me just at a “the end” per se. Nothing twisty, nothing awe struck. So that got me wondering, if for the struggle of 800 pages of words, with this is all one gets, it makes one (me) feels if it is really worth of such literate and historically in depth journey.

I know. I sound imperially judgmental on this one but I just can’t help putting this bit of thought over it. It’s just a long book.

I proceed with The Concise Chinese-English for Lovers which is a fun read and indeed, this book, despite its simpleness, illuminated the issue of cross culture relationships and even relationship issues within itself. The storyline is simple, clean and straight. It is also very honest which got me going within a good 24 hours to complete a 200 pager, font size 12, 1/5 spacing.

I ended it with a smile. And of course, some reminded lessons about relationship, us being Chinese vs them being the Caucasians and the culturally exposed vs. the culturally unexposed.

Anyway, work has been taking the centre stage of my life as I have been ranting in my posts over and over again, I shall not dwell anymore about it.

And so let’s catch up about my life. In the next post before this gets toooo long.