For the time being, I am laying low with the sale of my Stallion because the sale of cars in the market seemed to have quieten down plenty. I don’t even have a single caller from the last advertisement. Imagine. But I have several ways to look at it.
1st, I think the forces of things are indeed not moving so by economic sense, it would take awhile for my car to move before I can get the K-man in. That’s quite a kill joy.
2nd, I think someone is praying very hard that I will not own one everyday. I know I sound very cynical and negative but I really can’t help having such thoughts as indeed there is the cow SOL who would have prayed to her Kwan Yin that I will not end up better than her. Trust me on this piece. I’m damn sure she utters prayers under her breath every other day hoping my dreams don’t get realized. Anyway, I pray for that bad intention of hers to return to her, may she fucking rot in hell.
3rd. To look at things on a positive note, I can have more money to save now and that means, I may just as well end up getting the 911 or even Aston if it is REALLY that long that my car gets sold. That also means, dear SOL, the bottom line story is, I will either way be better than you because it’s either I have more money than you, or I will drive a nicer car than you. Hahah… *evil laugh* Talk about stupid.
Speaking of which, I have double concluded that my life is indeed shrouded with bad people like SOL. In fact, she is my biggest bad omen I could think of.
Imagine she even cares who I report to in the office. Do I report to the Country Risk Head or the Department Risk Head as compared to her? Am I a VP or just an AVP? Even if she has the privy to my salary, she would by all means, ensure she makes more than me. I mean, honest to God, does she ever think she’s just wasting her time and life merely chasing after me for perpetually everything?
I mean to begin with, even my husband is better looking for hers. And smarter (sorry Eugene, when it comes to competition, I need to arm myself with everything I have, even at the expense of your brother). And takes life in far more liberated holistic approach.
And for her to feel so utter good about herself, she works so deliberately hard to ensure she ends up better than me. While I am not denying she is making me her benchmark of success, I wish I am in the mood to point to her that she has indeed so utter far from the benchmark.
Where is the marathon running? Where is the distance cycling? Where is the artsy piece? Where is the writing bit? Where is reading love? Where is the piece of non-material stuff? Where?
I am not making fun about her, Nor am I making myself feel good about the things I do in life. I am just putting things into perspective as to why I can’t understand her need for me to feed her success?
I mean, what the fuck does she want me for?
Harn Ni has been right. I should not be bothered because that is all she is and after all she looks up to me that much to have me as a yardstick.
But the point is, she doesn’t want to just reach where I am but she wants to beat it to me. THAT IS THE FUCKING POINT THAT PISSES me of big time.
Sometimes, in my little world, I wish I have the tenacity to tell her on the face to stop being such a loser and lead her fucking own life without copying me all through it. I wish to tell her to get her own identity and stop trying to hard to be better than me. I wish to tell her I hate her to my guts for these all. I even wish to tell her the biggest regrets in my life is to have introduced her to Eugene’s brother. I am of course, saying he deserves better than this half-looking-man, with voice of a she-man, thinking the world is in her hands.
I wish. But I realised anyway, not all wishes comes true. More so if they are malicious wishes that hurt people.
Oh well.
Just a drop of bad thoughts here. Afterall, what’s the use of my blog if not to vent my what-ever-feelings.
OK, next post on my next thoughts…
1st, I think the forces of things are indeed not moving so by economic sense, it would take awhile for my car to move before I can get the K-man in. That’s quite a kill joy.
2nd, I think someone is praying very hard that I will not own one everyday. I know I sound very cynical and negative but I really can’t help having such thoughts as indeed there is the cow SOL who would have prayed to her Kwan Yin that I will not end up better than her. Trust me on this piece. I’m damn sure she utters prayers under her breath every other day hoping my dreams don’t get realized. Anyway, I pray for that bad intention of hers to return to her, may she fucking rot in hell.
3rd. To look at things on a positive note, I can have more money to save now and that means, I may just as well end up getting the 911 or even Aston if it is REALLY that long that my car gets sold. That also means, dear SOL, the bottom line story is, I will either way be better than you because it’s either I have more money than you, or I will drive a nicer car than you. Hahah… *evil laugh* Talk about stupid.
Speaking of which, I have double concluded that my life is indeed shrouded with bad people like SOL. In fact, she is my biggest bad omen I could think of.
Imagine she even cares who I report to in the office. Do I report to the Country Risk Head or the Department Risk Head as compared to her? Am I a VP or just an AVP? Even if she has the privy to my salary, she would by all means, ensure she makes more than me. I mean, honest to God, does she ever think she’s just wasting her time and life merely chasing after me for perpetually everything?
I mean to begin with, even my husband is better looking for hers. And smarter (sorry Eugene, when it comes to competition, I need to arm myself with everything I have, even at the expense of your brother). And takes life in far more liberated holistic approach.
And for her to feel so utter good about herself, she works so deliberately hard to ensure she ends up better than me. While I am not denying she is making me her benchmark of success, I wish I am in the mood to point to her that she has indeed so utter far from the benchmark.
Where is the marathon running? Where is the distance cycling? Where is the artsy piece? Where is the writing bit? Where is reading love? Where is the piece of non-material stuff? Where?
I am not making fun about her, Nor am I making myself feel good about the things I do in life. I am just putting things into perspective as to why I can’t understand her need for me to feed her success?
I mean, what the fuck does she want me for?
Harn Ni has been right. I should not be bothered because that is all she is and after all she looks up to me that much to have me as a yardstick.
But the point is, she doesn’t want to just reach where I am but she wants to beat it to me. THAT IS THE FUCKING POINT THAT PISSES me of big time.
Sometimes, in my little world, I wish I have the tenacity to tell her on the face to stop being such a loser and lead her fucking own life without copying me all through it. I wish to tell her to get her own identity and stop trying to hard to be better than me. I wish to tell her I hate her to my guts for these all. I even wish to tell her the biggest regrets in my life is to have introduced her to Eugene’s brother. I am of course, saying he deserves better than this half-looking-man, with voice of a she-man, thinking the world is in her hands.
I wish. But I realised anyway, not all wishes comes true. More so if they are malicious wishes that hurt people.
Oh well.
Just a drop of bad thoughts here. Afterall, what’s the use of my blog if not to vent my what-ever-feelings.
OK, next post on my next thoughts…
