There Will Be a Party!

I’ve challenged my friend on this smoking habit.

 

This is the 2^nd time he is trying to quit. Obviously the first was a failure. Haha.

 

The bet, that is he is to quit smoking and can maintain that till 1 Dec 2011, I’ll hire him a stripper for 20 minutes performance. Courtesy of a good friend.

 

If he loses, he’ll hire me a stripper instead for 20 minutes.

 

Haha.

 

What are friends for right?

 

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I’ll  be happy if he wins because it’s for his good. Above it, I will be more than happy to reward him. A good buddy’s present consider that. But if he losses, I’ll be more than happy to have a free stripper for fun. And I’m going to invite ALL my girlfriends to share my win.

 

Woohoo.

 

I’ve told them (the girls) the good news. So we are praying hard either happens. Haha.

 

=============================

 

It all started when I told him I feel like picking up smoking. I’m tired of everything. Especially work. My crankiness has gone up to my brains. I am stuck here in KL and can’t possibly go anywhere for holiday to de-stress.

 

So it’s pretty much a sickening feeling.

 

So what better things to do for the time being?

 

Pick up smoking!

 

I mean, it was just a thought…

 

And he said not to even think about it. Because it’s EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ß in exact verbatim.

 

He went on ranting about how he now needed to seriously quit smoking. And thereon, the bet came about on.

 

============================

 

He has asked me to get hold of the telephone numbers of the agency and not forgetting he’s going to provide me the type of chick he likes.

 

Muahaha.

 

I told him I’ll e-mail my preference too, in case he needs it more than me. Haha.

 

Pray. Pray. Pray.

 

Either way, there will be a party in Dec 2011. It’s a matter who is hosting it.

 

LOL.

 

Toilets & Karmas

Time really flies when one is excruciatingly busy with life. Or should I say applaudablely busy. Haha, whichever way, it is just like seeing the glass half full or half empty. Bottom line it, there is water in the glass.

 

I have travelled to Penang for a colleague’s wedding over the weekend. And I’m pretty much worn out with the event because I rushed to do a 10k at 8am. Then breakfast, then laundry then pack and off to Penang which took us about 4 hours of driving on a monotonous highway.

 

By the time we reached, it was about 4.30pm, I took a tea break of Pesambor (Penang’s rojak) then off to wash my hair. By the time I was ready, it was time to put on the make-up and dress up for the dinner. Very certainly E&O is a lovely place. I mean, most people find old colonial places spooky but I’m one of those people who enjoys classic stuff. Nice.

 

And so I sat with the rest of my colleagues, like most dinners I have with them and gobbled up, along with the background quartet that was playing all the jazzy stuff and dim yellow lights that induces us towards slumberland. By the time I left it was 10.30pm and they were just about to serve the last dish and dessert. But food was commendable given that it was held in a hotel. I was dread tired and the moment my head hit the sack, my eyes were literally failing me in every way. Even as I was trying to re-plant my crops [the iPhone’s We Rule of course, what crop do you think it was? Haha…] for the night, my eyes were closing itself off without permission.

 

I slept with thoughts that tomorrow will be a 8am wake and a long run along Gurney Drive.

 

I woke at 9.30am, feeling extremely tired still and I promised myself a run in KL when I get back. So I thought.

 

By the time we left the hotel, had lunch, stopped by Taiping to pick Eugene’s granny, it was about 3pm. And by the time we reached KL, it was a good 7.30pm.

 

Along the tedious highway, we stopped twice for toilet breaks of which, one of the stop was a real stress because Granny said we need to quickly get a toilet as otherwise she might not be able to hold that long. Boy it was stressful.

 

As life has it as always, it is when you badly need something most, it is at that point that it would fail to appear. And that was exactly how we felt. I was literally going, “Where the fuck are the toilets when there are always that many popping up every now and then on the highway?”

 

Haha… stress. For good 15 minutes traveling at 140kmph we can’t find a rest area!

 

Thank Heavens, when we got to the very first stop of toilet, Granny need not queue though in a matter of seconds, an express bus stopped with a fleet of human beings were swarming the toilets like crazy bees. The queue became outrageously long. Phew!

 

The next stop was funny. Malaysians being Malaysians we often give way to the pregnant and old ladies to get to the toilet first no matter how long the queue is. I mean, that’s pretty much typical us. And so when I got to queue with Granny, this lady asked me to use the toilet for handicap [I mean, Granny isn’t handicap at all so I passed it off without initial thoughts]. But since the lady insisted, I thought she was right, after all, Granny is an old lady who have incontinence problem anyway.

 

I brought her to the handicap toilet. I opened the door and what a shock I had.

 

There it was a lady in headscarf squatting on the floor, without her skirt/pants, flushing her pussy with those water bidet Malaysian toilet has. She panicked shit.

 

HAHAHAH. LOL. It was too funny to apologise [Oh, kill me].

 

And I just gingerly close the door [Anyway it wasn’t my fault that she didn’t lock the door right?] Hehe…

 

Oh well. Then my thoughts when to how dirty most Malaysians are. Haha. I mean, there is a choice to wash the ass or pussy by directing the water into the bowl and NOT on the floor. And imagine every time one enters the toilet with a wet floor, what gross stuff were on the floor prior! Yucks.

 

Hehe. Gross.

 

Anyway, I shall not over dwell on this topic. It’s really gross if you are having your lunch while reading this. Haha. Imagine, Makcik in tudung, no pants on, washing her pussy with the water spouting from the bidet. Muahahah. Gross. Gross. Gross.

 

Thank Heavens, neither Granny nor me had to stop for toilet breaks after that because it started to drizzle and rain as we thread along the highway. I mean, imagine the pain having to hold Granny and walk with the umbrella, try dodging puddles and ensure Granny doesn’t slip on those wet surfaces. Stress.

 

Of course, bringing Granny back to my in-law’s house was not a pleasant affair between my MIL and Granny. Honestly, I don’t understand what mulls over the MIL’s thoughts but it sure isn’t good. I mean, to cut the long story short, I’m sad she reacted such a manner with Granny (given she is already 89 years old, half the foot into the grave to be crude and it’s time to let go off all that is done and said yonks years back) and I am even sadder that she doesn’t realize her vendetta towards Granny doesn’t bring anything more but grieve onto her very own sons who are THE most precious things in the world to her.

 

As selfish my MIL is, she fail to realized her inhumanity actually crucifies her sons. And whose actions are those? She herself. It’s sad. It’s sad a person I look up to carries such attitude. It’s really, really sad. And it is even sadder that, she is someone who refuses to listen to anyone and will go berserk if anyone (even her sons) were to tell her the right thing. She just wants her way.

 

I still don’t get her. I don’t get her silliness.

 

And indeed, I learnt something yesterday, don’t ever think you cruelty and bad actions doesn’t get back to you. It does. And most often if it is something you didn’t get in return, it does really get back to the person or thing that is most precious to you. That is what Karma is, good or bad.

 

Karma.

 

 

Goodness Gone?

Life is tough.

 

Nin found out her husband of 1 year plus is ‘emotionally attached’ to someone else, in his exact verbatim. She just celebrated her baby boy’s 1^st year birthday. Nin realized she drifted from her marriage because she was busy with wifehood and motherhood and therefore, he strayed. His excuses.  

 

So what’s next?

 

Her husband did not beg to savage the marriage. He was just silent over it.

 

This is the kind of mess people can get other people into. This is the kind of shit people can cause when they don’t think of consequences, forget about what commitment is all about and wants everything in life.

 

Infidelity.

 

Out of 10 people I know, somehow, 7 has something to do with this. I’m tired (Nin should even be more tired than me as she figures out her problem now, poor girl) with this topic. I honestly think people should give a thought about what they really want out of life especially when they include someone else as part of their life. They should. Otherwise, don’t get involve with anyone or anything.

 

Love.

 

What really is love? If there is no commitment, dedication and honor, what does it even stand as? Some fantasy romance just as those overly exaggerated romance novel where men are in loin cloth and 6 pac abs and women in those 36D spotlight boobs, hour glass bodice and perfectly made up mane, where he swipe her off the feet, embracing his strong biceps around her little waist then, kisses her budding red lustrous lips?

 

Common.

 

It’s sad. It seemed to me that many things in life that is honorable, good, commendable and humble no longer stands. I wonder what is this world becoming? Why is everything breaking up?

 

Just a week back, Malaysia has one of the most shocking news – there were a number of murders committed by 2 brothers who hired several henchmen to perform the killing for business dealings which turns sour. Their bodies (believed to be about 20 beings) were burnt in cow dung and petrol, of which the ashes and bone fragments were scattered into a nearby river.

 

What were these 2 men thinking? What were these henchmen thinking when they took away the lives of these people? People with families, with emotions, with sentiments.

 

I really wonder. Where is goodness?

Brick Walls

Indeed I have been in a grouchy mood. Some people consider it foul. But as always, it would come to terms to the issues I am facing. This time it has a lot to do with my work.

I'm officially unhappy with things.

Then it comes to the equation of how things are happening and not getting the deserving promotion as I believe I ought to have, I digress. What grounds do I have the very right to demand and believe so?

On the very fact that I have been lately getting over and above e-mails and verbal commendation over my work.

While those which have been giving has been openly hearted generous and I believe, thinks it should be a form of my motivation to carry on with the Bank, I on the other hands, feels utterly demotivated.

In all sense that, IF that is the very reason that I command such great respect and commendation from people whom I considered 'impossible' to attain their standards, then why. Why is it that I am still a damn AVP?

[And to top that, if I were to compared my standards against the current bunch of AVP i is an ultimate insult to my work, what more if I were to compared the newly crowned VP in my department, it is even more than an insult. In every fucking single sense of work deliverables, attitude and principles even, he is not even there. And mind you, I am not trying to blow my trumpet about this. I have analyse in minuscule details enough. I have combed through my inadequacies in it's micro level. I have even read other AVPs and other VPs to understand what makes up for what exactly it is to be and it is sad to say, 3/4 of them do not deserve what they got. You may call me a cynic or sour grapes, and even question me that I do not have the right to commend who deserves and who doesn't.

My answer: I have the right to my opinion, cynical or bitchy it may be. But abve it all, if I were to benchmark them in accordance to the 'impossible' people's standards that I work with, they are just at most at Manager level. Well, that is just my 2 cents of unadulterated honest opinion about these people]

So given these facts laid sparsely on the table, who won't be piss?

And in every action of praises I have thus received, the equation doesn't fit in any sense and therefore in this matter at all, I'm aghast, frustrated and very unhappy.

So yes, as every human I am, I literally drag my feet to work. But yet, as I've preach to these, I did not nor will vent any sense of my frustration on anyone or anything. My issue is between my bosses and me. Nothing to do with my work, colleagues or any other issues I am paid to work.

As I have been ranting all these while, it is no longer about the money. It is about time for the recognition I believe I deserve. That is all.

But going through this enormous piss, typical of humanic (is there such word) sense, when one doesn't voice any concerns, people always perceived I am happy. It is sad. Super sad [and because of what I am experiencing, I vow I will never do this to any of my committed and deserving staff as long as I'm empowered for their well being].

I will be just and fair to who rightly deserves with no compromise on other factors on rewards and recognition. And I will not bend on this.

Going back to my feeling.

And therefore, I will have THE conversation with my new boss by next month. All because I believe I should be fair by giving him some time to settle down with all the chaos they have been disemboweling him off late. I mean, when someone is at something new, it is understandably that there will always be this overwhelming effect.

But above all hediousity (if there is such word, haha), somehow it is always a force outside this universe or maybe its the cosmic Karma or even God, there will always be a cool blanket to put off the anguish.

Somehow.

And so, while I am now getting very attune to my challenging work, at month 9, I can comfortably say I am 90% on top of my work. Which to me, is a great achievement because I have embarked into something which is off the total opposite spectrum of my expertise and I've managed to muster it.

It was despicably tough and gruesomely challenging. Coupled with people's negative prejudice that Verniela by default is not a 'number' person and therefore will not flourish in this portfolio.

Indeed I have proven the cynics wrong. I am even demanding them to eat their words.

Now some puzzles are fixed. I now understand the reason my impossible ex-boss was giving me the due respect. At the point of my new assignment, concern people have told him that they don't think I would be able to handle it. And he gave his gut feel to them that we should give me a chance and he feels, I should be able to make it, given my attitude.

And so, I have proven his facts right. And I have been able to meet his standards and demands without a word of complain or detest throughout the tenacious months while he was around. He could affirm that.

So lesson learnt.

Lesson No.1: Do not belittle people and tell them what little to you know about them. No one knows anyone better than the person themself.

Lesson No.2: And because of that, if someone believes deeply enough that he/she can do it, allow him/her to prove him/herself because most often than not, he/she will succeed.

Lesson No.3: Nothing is impossible if anyone put their heart and soul into it and not give it up until it's been conquered.

Lesson No. 4: There is no such thing as "if you are good in something, you will do better in it." That is the old school of thoughts. Bye bye, old school.

Lesson No.5: Never let anyone put you down in anything you believe you can do. While you are at it, keep going even when you are in doubt especially when the first shit splattered on your face and it continue splashing. Just keep going, keep learning what you are missing, keep tab of the mistakes, keep on fixing and in no time, everything will come into place miraculously.

Lesson No.6: Don't forget to remind those people who think you can't do it, to eat their words when you got it. That would shut them fucking up for a lifetime. Haha.

And while I'm at this, I was reading through Randy Pausch's "Last Speech" he gave in CM sometime in 2007, he said this and it sure hit me like a wasabi making its way through the airways, explaining the reason for my 'brick walls.'

"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people - Randy Pausch ( 1960-2008).

So yes, Randy, may you RIP and thank you, thank you for putting an explanation to my frustration at this point in my life.

I'm done. Have a great day people *wink*

Funny, Funny, Funny

I honestly think people should stop giving themselves excuses or making excuses.

 

Actually it is the very reason people can’t move forward or progress. It’s always this and that. If not this, then it’s that.

 

Then, they lament they are unhappy with their life.

 

Just yesterday I went for a run at 6.30pm after work at the park behind my office. I invited a wanna-desperately-lose-weight person to run with me. I even took the lift right down to the ground floor to check the viability of running since from the 18^th Floor, I could see people carrying umbrella while walking.

 

The verdict was it was drizzling a drop every 5 seconds. Just a drop.

 

And she said, she’ll fall sick with the rain drops, coupled with the path being slippery (even though the park’s jogging trail were made of soft non-mark rubber for good shock absorption and friction) and that the weather is definitely going to rain more than the little drizzle.

 

I’m baffled.  

 

People want to look good and yada yada but thinks everything comes without effort. I mean, there is no free lunch. Metaphorically speaking.

 

So I do wonder why it is sometimes or rather most of the time, people fail to be objective and focus on what they really want, rather than every now and then wasting their time lamenting of what they don’t have.

 

It perplexes me.

 

Then I have been experiencing this person in FB who never seized to boast about how she intends to be running some marathons, pictures of the running shoes she has bought, books and journal about yoga and running and yada yada yada.

 

So I invited her for a fun 10K Nike is hosting in KL City (it’ll be a fun run running around the city). She replied she is not that fit after all, she don’t think she can even do a 5km in a month’s time. And excuses, she has not been running for the past 8 days and she’s more into yoga now.

 

Haha. Evil I may sound but sometimes it’s nice to push people like this to a corner and check their ultimate reaction. LOL.

 

So far, we are going to be off for a break for the Hari Raya so tomorrow is an official holiday in Malaysia. I’m elated and I’m very inclined to do a total of 30K this week. Once I’m feeling fine with the mileage, it will be 10% incremental to 21K coupled with tempo and fartlek to push my running to a higher level of pace.

 

Let’s see. Let’s see how far I can push myself and how far I can make a good PR. My current objective is sub-2 hours. I know it’s ambitious but hell if many, many runners could do it, how different am I to them?

 

*grin*

 

So yes, I’m busy with these. Couples with my reading. Am still on with the pile of books I bought. Yeah!   

Nuisance

Of a sudden, I am in the mood to speak my mind. Of a sudden too, I have the time to do it given the quiet weekend I am tip toeingly enjoying.

My first thought - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movie did not do justice to the protagonists - Lisbeth and Mikhael. They were both much more suave and good looking in my lurid imagination than what the movie has depicted.

Though of course, the movie was meant to summarise the entire mind boggling 644 pages (depending on the font and book size) of pure exhilarating and enthralling read.

That is my take on the book.

Of course, being a little eccentric myself (to an extend) I love Lisbeth. I love her ways whether some considered them as tough, disturbing or difficult.

Whatever. I honestly don't care what people think more so, norm thinks.

I realised anyway, being apart and far away from people I loath is good for me spiritually. Somehow, I feel I don't get constricted with the things they say or do. And it's liberating to know these people really means nothing until they make some pathetic remarks that has something to do with me or could be co-related to some extend to my existence.

I was wondering to myself if ever, I would take the plunge and walk away one day. Walk away far, far from these people and never, ever having to see, hear or face them ever. One may consider that being a recluse. Like somewhere far away from human habitation.

Of course, most sane people construed it as running away but for the years that I have been in confrontation with these people, it doesn't seemed to me that the degree of loathsomeness got dissipated in any degree.

At the same time, I sometimes wonder if ever these people would realised that they can never ever be like me in any other way. From the very way I flicker my eyes to my down right stone cold sarcasm. And yet, people still try to be in the same league. I mean as simple matter as train of thoughts and believes has a huge disparaging width of difference and therefore, in logical equation, how could it ever be possible in this lifetime that these people could be almost like me?

I don't get it. Like how?

Then I have also those people who tries hard to be in sync to my thoughts and actions. They seemed to have this very sad inferior that they could never catch up with me and in turn, has this tendency to act as if they know. As if they are doing the same. As if they are so into it.

I don't get it again. Like why?

My sordid thoughts and perception has been held generously with what I am, coupled with my experiences, blended with my interest. And most often than not (not that I am trying to blow my horn [not trumpet here]) I tend to be in extreme insightful to the things that interests me. Call me an expert. Call me a cynic. Call me a critic.

And the thing that perplex me is the fact that people has this tendency wanting much to thread on my line yet not letting me share my bits but instead most often than not gives in lameful (I created a new word) opinion which either does not make sense or is a total crap in my vascular rationale mind.

It is even more interesting to note that such people actually is not interested in my opinion but instead wanted to prove that they are on par with me on matters of my heart. It is always about, "If I were you..." when not a single word of advice was sought or welcome.

Of course there are also the occasion when such people talk about things, like for example, an exercise regime while treating as if I'm a log that don't move an inch of my limb to have a cuppa. Like exercising and me are from 2 different world. They just talk and talk and talk while not realizing in reality, their small rounds of walks around the little garden around the house does not constitute exercising in my definition.

Yet, these people masked out all disillusion to make them feel they are worthy of the conversation. Like do I care really. They even evade my opinon. Beat that. But do I really care? No. I just don't want to talk to people like this. That is all.

And yet, people like this never, ever acknowledge the fact that I am a subject matter expert in what they are saying despite my opinion and sharing. They just go on and on with their ambiguous grey world.

In short, I'm talking about people who when everything else weighted upon, the lifestyle, opinions, mindset is way, way off my tangent.

In this context, it baffles me why even would anyone bother to catch me for a conversation. Because ultimately to me, it is wasting my time, not mentioning the person's time. There is nothing gained by the end of it. That is all I'm saying.

It's always about "my opinion is better than yours", "my choice is better than yours" or "my lifestyle is better than yours" and so I am talking and you listen because I know more than you. Yes, even in the field of my interest. Beat that.

Yeah, I'm done. I'm done vending my 3 cents of irritation with people.

Maybe there is some ego at stake. Some need to prove a point that despite it all, they are better than me.

Oh whatever people. Whatever.

It is the fact that I am interesting. It is the fact that I know what I do. It is the fact that I don't have anything to prove to anyone. Simple facts to live by. Maybe also people just needed these to make them feel better about themselves. Maybe.

But it's terribly stupid because it is made at my expense. And still, I don't get it.

So anyway, all I want to do from today onwards is just to continue play hide and seek with these people. No use running away because I truly believe there are many of such out there like leeches lurking everywhere around in this humid tropical jungle.

Yes, just play dead and keep the hide and seek going. Amen.

Everything in Thoughts

I've been away for too long with the cyberspace but not entirely. All in due to the fact that I have been busy with my iphone online games in particular and surfing. My voice of thoughts though, has been silence.

I was sniggering at how time flies. I felt like I have just left a note in my blog some few days ago. Ah, perception.

The last I wrote was that I 'think' I would start feeling happier soon. Indeed, who else knows better than myself. I have felt much lighter, happier and at peace after last Thursday.

Within the short span of a week so, there has been quite a number of happenings. Though I could conclude that everything did turn out for the better.

I first shut the people who has been annoyingly annoying in my life, the source of my irritant, then I just let everything go and let be. It somehow worked. But more so in that period of time, I realised that the main root cause were from 'people.' The things they say and the stuff they do. I tend to be bothered though I may claimed I don't.

So it's better to just stow them away up into the ladder or store, beyond the sight, hearing and senses.

It's funny how some people can just get into your nerves. But of course, most hollier than thou would advice that we are the master of our lives, we should at all times, be in control who influences and who doesn't. Ah, easier said than done.

I caught up with several people whom often add meaning to my life (as simple as just good conversations) and I can dare say, these are the things people should just do to keep positivity in perspective. I can't say how much more therapeutic they were to me but it wholesomely is. To that, I thank God I have such people in my life.

Then of course, we had the Independence Day (though being Independent today in my context means nothing patrotic anymore, given all the crap shits we have been witnessing with the government these days) holiday (free holiday was more the reason for celebration) which was a good break for me as well.

Though my mum was around, it was a much heeded time being with the family. We went gallivanting for a new car for mum. It's nice. Because while mum thought she should safe keep some money for us to invest, we told her to just spend her money and enjoy the finer things in life.

So whatever else would mummy spend on? A nice car!

Somehow, in that checking out afternoon, I realised that there are a lot of things in life that has been built by perception. Just like how Beemer has built it's image to garner yuppie and modern minded drivers. Whereas, Merc are more for the conservative and traditional people who are stable, conformist and mature.

Now that I am no longer looking for a car for myself, I tend to be more open towards every receptive ideas, images and perception. And what surprises me was, while footing on a neutral ground, I tend to see so much clearer in the 'real' thing as opposed to the perception Beemer or Merc has been trying has to impound into our mindset (so that we will buy them the moment we can afford one).

And surprisingly, I actually choose a Merc versus a Beemer given it's overall verdict. Me, of all the person. The person who was a pro Beemer, who drove a CI for the love of it, a person who believes she might one day steer the wheels of an M3 and a person who were so bought in that a Beemer should be it, hands down. Ah, well done Beemer, to much extend it has successfully ingrained thorough perception into the brand and has thusfar been on the right track in creating developing that ideals into the he group of Generation X.

Maybe also I think, I'm getting older and my facts and logical thinking is starting to have taken over my preferential thinking. Maybe also, with the scope of my job, my thinking is slowly but surely changing to be more generic. Or should it be otherwise?

I surprise myself.

And so, Merc it is for Mummy. She's all out, very keen and utterly excited. I mean, who would not. I was when I first got my Beemer. I was still when I first got my Cayman. Who wouldn't.

Anyway, from there, I went on to attend a good 'thinking' training which brought about revealing self awareness the way we people think. Of course, it was a profound training because it gave several answers to questions which I never had answers for, mainly on assholes I have worked with. Now, I know why. And it's liberating. Like now, I know something more than that asshole now.

It's nice. Hah hah.

At the same time, I got some nice notes here and there about how highly people think of me as a manager. Attestation from ex-bosses and ex-staffs.

But somehow, I was sharing with my buddies, why is it that I don't feel that elated for such acknowledgement? Why it is that it doesn't really put that job satisfaction factor into my feeling now that I've been attested time and again on my worthiness?

Somehow, in this equation, I think I have equated "A good manager = good worker = a respectable position." I have chosen to believe this is the equation and now that the first 2 has been met, I still don't see the point. I mean, I still am unhappy. Where is the VP position? Though it is very clear that my earnings today is even on par with many VPs in the bank and though it is very clear my standards have surpass many AVPs of the kind, I'm still discontented.

So I trust, by end of the day, when someone has made his/her mind up on the ideals or standards, the satisfaction will not be there until the standards is met. People can say whatever they want, do however they want, compensate however they please, but the fact of the matter is, if the very expectation of the individual is not met, he/she will still remain unhappy.

This does not apply on just my job. It's universal.

But I have my 'buts.' It's good to know where I stand in the eyes of a lot of people. It's good to get such reinforcement every now and then that, I am actually doing well in my job despite not getting the VP like most people who have moved on. And to even compromise, I can sour grapely manifest to those people who got their VP earlier than me that while they have the supposedly awesome title in hand (and probably even earning lesser than me), they had no such acclaimation from people they worked with and for.

It's a mental thingy I should say. And such things are priceless. Stuff money can't buy.

And it's sad to admit, it's my sole consolation to this sordid topic of promotion. Yup, it is. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm just being truthfully truthful about the way I am feeling now and I would admit I do occasionally feel defeated as compared to those people who choose to poke me over their VP versus what I am at now.

Many people though (who meant well and have eaten more salt than me) reminded me 2 things:
1. I'm still young and I should therefore not sweat over that little 2 alphabets because it's just a matter of time before I get it and,
2. Think and look at things on a long term. Don't be myopic.

That is always what they all say. Always.

I guess my 2 impuissance are the fact that I am impatience and ambitious.

Though it is not wrong but I trust, it could break me if I don't have a grip of things and be stronger than I think I already am.

Gosh, it sure beats me how I could write this much about my thoughts but it sure is good to know that I'm still sane. And that my thoughts are still in train and in line to some rationale and senses.

I'm pretty much done. For now. I'll write more on the next episode.

Oh did I fill anyone up that I'm starting to train seriously hard to beat a good sub-2 hour in a half mara? Well, I'm on that now so it's keeping me busy. I'm feeling great over my 10ks over and over for the past 1 week. So, just pray that I'm well off any injury until I set my foot on Penang Bridge and make that sub-2 hour a come true.

Watch me who-ever-who-wants-to-be-faster-than-me. I'm coming. *grin*

With that said, be happy people. Just be.