I have returned from my home town and every time I leave my real home, I have the same feeling when I reach KL - hopeful, optimistic and generous. But as I start living my life again in KL, like going back work on a Monday morning which now have turned afternoon, all negative feelings creep to remind me how suck-ful reality is.
I just need to conclude something I have concluded long time ago - every person who are born and bred KL are generally fuckers or assholes. I use the word 'generally.' But they are. Whether they are Christians, Muslims, Toaist or 'dan lain-lain'. They just have this 'thing' about them that sums them to be such. Somehow.
And being my usual self, I will not succumb to becoming their victim and this time, I'm totally ignoring them. So if you see me ignoring people, you now know why.
No use wasting time and energy trying to harness friendship or relationship with such people, because people like this are just super envious and even if they were to treat me well, there is always 'intention'. The curtain has unveiled itself, unexpectedly.
Spending time with my granny has been awesome. I totally enjoyed the moments I had with her. We had dinner, then chatted for a long while in the little home I used to lived in when I was growing up for a good 10 years. She enjoys talking about the good old times - good and bad. And I enjoyed listening because one can never get any of such with anyone. These are those priceless moment, I will eternally hold dearly to such moments. The laughs and the tears, the anguish and the happiness. It's everything.
There, sits Grandma, on her lazyman chair, stacked and piled by cushions of various shapes, sizes and color, almost that no one knows it's a lazy man chair, while she talks, she laughs, cringe or even sigh over her words that comes tumbling down, one after another, punctuated by mere commas.
Grandma talked about her children, my dad (one of her favorite topic), my grandpa, her relationship with grandpa, she bringing my bro and I up, old times when she was young and grandpa and her siblings.
Somehow, like it or not, such conversation does root you to feel that you do come from somewhere. So, it's good. Such feeling makes you feel your ancestors have come so far and the world out there is so utterly bigger than that small problem and issues you have especially at work. It makes you realize, there is far more life out there than anything else.
That's great.
Anyway, for a turn of things, of all the people in this world, I have been giving a thought or 2 to visit Beijing. Yeah, me. Going to China. It's not about anything but the fact that I was thinking, in my lifetime, I should at least go the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City once just that I get to see how great and egotistical Chinese were once upon a time. Plus, my entire ancestors and forefathers were from China. I mean, 3-4 generations before me were literally from China. Like it or not, I cannot shred my root that I am not yellow in any sense. No doubt, my greatgrands from my dad's side has bloodline traceable either from the great Emperor's Daughter Li Poh or her troops itself.
And, I am surprise, I hold some excitement to a place I always consider loud, smelly, rude, and money-says-it-all. Surprise. Surprise.
