Then and Now

Now, I have officially confirm that I will not be running the KL Marathon. I don't even want to ask if ever I will. I mean I have ran it before but I never did the Half with KL Mara. Oh well. Sweat not.

I'm reevaluating my exercise regime at this moment. Some idiot (said with love) lamented I'll be gaining weight with this halt of exercise since I am definitely not training for the half. I beg to defer so I have gotten myself things-to-do everyday so I would be enough fit for at least a decent duathalon, by then. In fact, the very fact of a 5km run - 12km cycle - 5km run isn't putting me in awe, I am putting my focus on this. I could easily do it today but it is just about the matter of timing.

Apparently, world standard finishes them in +/- 50 mins. Hahah. Technically at my standards now, I finish them within 2 hours. Hahahah. So let's see if I could improve on this and one day get my fat ass into a real dualathon race and check where I fair.

I'll be doing some decent mild trail running today since I'm in Malacca now with Susan (if her knees are permitting her). I think that trail at most would bring us about 6-7km. No sweat.

I have not been exercising anyway for the past 1 week. I did yoga on Friday with extreme arm strength focus and it ended up soaring till even today. Yesterday, my body and mind is just so sluggish to bring my entire self for even a short run around my mum's neighborhood. Don't ask. I ended up playing a 15-30 mins badminton with my 12 year old cousin sister with mere strokes over the house fence! Haha. Laugh if you must. I am. But I sweated beads.

It was one of those racket in one hand, with house clothes on, flip flops, and hitting the shuttle cock over the fence between my mum's house and her mum's house kinda event. It was fun. I miss this kind of things actually.

I mean, when I was young, my evenings were never about playing the computer or play station. They were spend cycling the housing estates around Paya Ikan and Bukit Baru where I learnt the short cuts between places and the nooks and corners of everywhere. We never had such thing about changing into cycling gear or wearing bicycle helmets or knee or elbow guards for that matter.

Besides, we play badminton on the tarred road between our terrace houses with the neighbours' kids on loose gravels all around our imaginary badminton court. At most, a spare slipper is used to mark the net position. On good days we get stale air so playing badminton with supposedly some 'standards' were viable. We generally played with our slippers, whatever shorts and tees we were wearing at home and whatever shuttlecock we could get our hands on. We don't specifically lace up to even shoes to play interesting badminton. We don't have to. And nobody laughs at that. In fact, someone will ask us if there is anything wrong if we took some pride in wearing a pair of sport shoes just to play badminton by the roadside.

On balmy days, we will have the ludicrous wind blowing, deliriously pushing our shuttle onto mango trees planted around the houses, rooftops or even drains. So when that happens too often in a row, we will just diversify and try flying kites instead. I mean, why go against things which are not moving in tandem to your intentions?

Homework and revisions are done after dinner. Till whatever time we go to sleep. Afternoons after school is spent with tuition (if any) or napping or just struggling to complete the God damn homework. And at often 5pm, the RTM (Radio Television Malaysia) would officiate its air time on cartoons. At one time in my life, I could recall by heart, which cartoon are to be aired between Mondays till Fridays. Don't ask.

And at 4pm, without much fail, I practise my piano if there is something nice on TV at 5pm. Otherwise, 5pm would be it. I start off with scales, then pieces which I'm supposed to learn during my Sunday piano classes, over and over and over again. Till perfection.

6pm would be a no-one-must-make-noise time because that is when those Cantonese series movies get aired on national TV. Kong-Kong would scold if I overcast his movie time with my imperfect piano playing. Oh well. So 6pm is the official time I get out of the house to cycle, play badminton or whatever else the heart feels like doing.

Such is my life then as a Malacca girl. Pretty mundane. Pretty unhappening. And so at times, when I ponder over my ordinary life, I wonder if I would end up like everyone else in future. Grow older, get some higher education, graduate at least (because that is what my parents want me to do), be an adult, get a decent job, find someone special and get married, have a family and then live happily ever after.

I did thought that would have been ideal. I did thought that would be the best. And I can't figure out what more I wanted out of it.

I innocently do not know about real ambition and those dreams like being a doctor, lawyer or business women were mere dreams that is to be filled into those yearly report card just so, people have dreams and ambition. I didn't know people could actually work towards it and be it one day. Not for me. But for people who are smarter than me yes. For people whose family is richer than me yes. And for people who are more capable than me, yes. I never thought I would be part of those people who would lead a corporate life and achieve things. Never.

But as I grew older into my teens, my added on was wanting a good job, means to travel around, marry a good man and have family with kids.

And boy, look at me. Just look at me now. *laughing*

So all I can say is, things change. People change. And it is alright to change so long it brings you happiness and it brings the best out of you. It does not matter what you feel then even thought it is completely different from now because by end of the day, you are living for yourself. Why sweat over what you previously thought as opposed to what you now think. Life's just too short. We need to be able to get out, enjoy our lives the way we want to NOW. That is actually all that matters to me... cest la vie...