I was observing the trend of guys that went pass my life, guys I have dated and fell for. I realised the ones I truly adore has 4 very distinct characteristics - funny, adores me to the max, smart and a gentleman in their own sense. It is short of saying, I go for guys with character.
Of course, I have dated losers and guys which are lack of character. Several of them. But that is not deemed as a regret because the very next day, they taught me more life lessons that they ever knew. These are about the very egoistical and selfish ones. Familiar?
I recalled my first kiss with this guy who was 4 years my senior. A funny episode. A nice simple guy actually. I wonder where is he now. But no, he is far too simple. Far not crazy enough to dream like me.
Then the 2nd guy, we were pretty steady but it taught me lessons over lessons about guys. How over protective men can generally get, how selfish they are when they like using the term 'belong' to me and how undeniably conservative they want me to be just because I am a women, if turn wife one day should be dressing decently, hold a simple girly job like all other women that roams this Earth and above it all, should be home waiting for his return.
Like what the fuck is that? Haha… far too conservative and unsupportive of my pursuit.
I dated yes, guys.
One with lack of ambition, who could hardly hold a proper conversation with me but he cares for me till bits. Not only that, he's like my little puppy. Always making me laugh. But no, he is far too unambitious. He is far too lack of drive.
Then I dated the other who was pretty empty. A friend yes. A good friend, yes. But I could not go beyond the boundary of a friend. He is however too lack of the character in my definition. Just too lack of that fire.
Then I also dated the guy who stole my heart. But he only stole it for a very short while and he went off without saying goodbye. He is funny, adores me, smart and a gentleman in his own sense. Near miss.
Then I thought I would give some guy who was giving me the looks everytime I have lunch at the college cafeteria a chance to know me better, but hey, he is too much of a geek to me. Just too geeky.
I also happen to have guys who enjoys my company so much so that they want me more than I want them. They are just too in love with me. Just too much overly with me. Haha… well… all sorts.
I then also have a guy who does not know where he is heading with me and had no guts to spill the beans that he would like me to stay with me for a little while. And so, I walked out. I totally walked out and never return. He is too lack of courage to hold me back. His miss. Haha…
Then, I also had a guy who I fell for the very first sight of him. People always ask do you believe in love at the first sight? Let me say - hell no. Afterall, the entire college was in love with him. I was just 'another' of the girls. Which means, how else more can I be more special than that? Haha.. He is too hot to handle and for this, I am too not-up-to-his-standards-to-meet.
But when I look into the mirror. This is no Cinderalla or Snow White or Aurora. This is me. The girl-next-door with a heart that dreams everyday, that believes that all she wants to do is what she can really do and has some fire to touch a personality that to some, they may end up loving, some end up hating.
I am not much of a looker nor do I have a body to kill. What I do know is, when I love, I love to the deepest. And when I hate, I hate to the core. Plus, I always give my best. The best of me to the person I choose to give my heart.
And with this, I have met many guys enough to decide what sort of guy I will want to be with for the rest of my life. And there you have it… my guy… you have it. I gave you the heart, please, take good care of it… this is no money back return, there is no returning, just have it… *wink*
