I don't know what made me decide to write this piece. Maybe it is out of boredom and hope. Boredom because, I am babysitting the part-time cleaner who is now cleaning my bathroom, hope because I am hoping the rain would stop the very second the cleaner leaves and thus, I can go for a short run.
I need my dose of sanity. Running.
Anyway, I actually wanted to write this because after reading one of the blogs I frequent, it did make me look back to pretty much my live since my teenage years.
Mine has been pretty much a roller coaster. And I am sure, there is much more to tell as I age, gracefully I hope.
But before I even begin, I need to say 2009 has been a very reflective year. I don't know why in particular but circumstances over circumstances has probed me to look back. Though it has come to a point where I was extremely tired of looking back and wanted life to just give me a break from looking backwards, I somehow could not help it. As most people would already know by now, there is nothing much I can do with what has been done and said. Good or bad.
All is not loss however. In the midst of reflection, I learnt quite a bit about myself. So much so that it reaffirms myself more than I thought I already knew. And I also started to understand some stuff which I never understood about. I actually saw the link to what I am today.
So, the net of it all, it was a self discovery year filled with internalization of rainbow emotion. And now that I am about to reach my mid-thirties {God, time flies doesn't it?} and be qualify for Veteran Category in those running races {Sharks, and just when I thought it would take me ages to come to this point in life once upon a time} I have finally come to jigsaw all the missing bits I have left behind, good and bad during my years of chasing wilderness.
2009 caught me at helo because, ever since my Dad was gone when I was 15, I have hardly looked back {coupled with Eugene's believe that I shall not grieve for any bitter sadness because I deserve better than that, which is utterly sweet of him}. In fact, the only occasion I reflected were reliving the harsh moments we, mum, Danny and I go through when Dad was deteriorating by the day. And that reflections were only during time like Dad's death anniversary or somewhere along that line.
Having these said, I want to say that, I have indeed, come very, very far. I shall not entirely say I am super proud of what I have today but I daresay I am proud of who I am. Essentially, I have come to a point to be who I want to be at this age. So, that pretty much says it all.
Now, moving on, we will just go and continue moving on. Life is indeed awesome.
I need my dose of sanity. Running.
Anyway, I actually wanted to write this because after reading one of the blogs I frequent, it did make me look back to pretty much my live since my teenage years.
Mine has been pretty much a roller coaster. And I am sure, there is much more to tell as I age, gracefully I hope.
But before I even begin, I need to say 2009 has been a very reflective year. I don't know why in particular but circumstances over circumstances has probed me to look back. Though it has come to a point where I was extremely tired of looking back and wanted life to just give me a break from looking backwards, I somehow could not help it. As most people would already know by now, there is nothing much I can do with what has been done and said. Good or bad.
All is not loss however. In the midst of reflection, I learnt quite a bit about myself. So much so that it reaffirms myself more than I thought I already knew. And I also started to understand some stuff which I never understood about. I actually saw the link to what I am today.
So, the net of it all, it was a self discovery year filled with internalization of rainbow emotion. And now that I am about to reach my mid-thirties {God, time flies doesn't it?} and be qualify for Veteran Category in those running races {Sharks, and just when I thought it would take me ages to come to this point in life once upon a time} I have finally come to jigsaw all the missing bits I have left behind, good and bad during my years of chasing wilderness.
2009 caught me at helo because, ever since my Dad was gone when I was 15, I have hardly looked back {coupled with Eugene's believe that I shall not grieve for any bitter sadness because I deserve better than that, which is utterly sweet of him}. In fact, the only occasion I reflected were reliving the harsh moments we, mum, Danny and I go through when Dad was deteriorating by the day. And that reflections were only during time like Dad's death anniversary or somewhere along that line.
Having these said, I want to say that, I have indeed, come very, very far. I shall not entirely say I am super proud of what I have today but I daresay I am proud of who I am. Essentially, I have come to a point to be who I want to be at this age. So, that pretty much says it all.
Now, moving on, we will just go and continue moving on. Life is indeed awesome.
