It has been weeks that I have updated and I bet people will be thinking what the heck is happening over there.
Well... many. Of course, to over shadow everything, work again has taken the centre stage. And as usual, I have said it over and again that work has a lot say in my life and the very fact that it does, I am in perpetual denial.
For the past 6 months in this job, I have had countless number of time being told off for the mistakes of my team. Over and again, matter over matter. While I am not denying that the team is as young as those green bamboo shoots, the Bank has its limited tolerance over inexperience, mistakes and mediocracy.
And I'm tired. I'm tired that I have to face the music from my Boss everytime it happens. In fact, I'm sick with the notion that my Boss has this thought that I'm not good enough for the job and therefore, I will be stuck in this rut as long as there is no improvement to the deliverables.
I despise this. I despise the entire notion of this. And as of 7 July, I vow to have a grip of everything that I could and everyone that works with me will have to go through the motion of being meticulous and demanding. Regardless.
Just when this happens, my entire spectrum of view changed. I start picking all kinds of inadequacy and inefficiency. I start pushing. I start pressuring. I start demanding. I even start to get back the mojo I lost ever since I came to Risk.
I supposedly feel enough is enough. It is time.
For many things.
It is a turning point for me to continue my journey and to seek opportunity where doors are open for me. But only that and if it is a job that I am looking for, with the right pay and right work environment. I have come to a point in my life where I do not want to do anything that waste my time. Including getting into another job just to run away from matters, people or events. I realised quitting for such reason will not bring me anywhere and most often than not, will bring one into circles of confusion and dissatisfaciton.
And so, I have decided it is the time I start looking out and get the right one now.
This turning point has nothing to do with money but a utter push factor over how the system works in my Bank. I view the system to be short changing me in many ways but I will not sweat overly over this. I just need to continue my journey and move on to real greener pastures, the way I want it to be.
And I strive to believe, in this world where it is round, there will always be fairness to those falling short. Somehow. And with that, I strongly believe my time will come. So long I am true to myself and the work I do.
At the same time, I have come to a point where I don't need people to tell me anymore, what I can do, can't do, should do or should not do. I know myself better than anyone else who thinks they do. In short, I don't appreciate unwelcome advice. If I need one, I'll call out, as usual.
It is just that, I realised, people who advice me about my career growth are often laying it in accordance to their career plan just so, I am, to some extend is of a help to their career. It is all about them.
And so, I have enough of this. I just want to tell people to shut the hell up about telling me how I should develop myself or tell me things I already know. For once, shut up and let me for once steer my path.
I mean, at 35, who am I kidding? And better still, who are they kidding?
Well so much for this piece today. My very clear thoughts about my current career as so clear that anyone could se the sea bed 12 feet under.
After all said, I am surprise that I hold no anger or grudge over anyone for the unfairness. I just an utterly dissapointed as I have stated earlier that the system is a total piece of crap which honestly, should be replaced with a more fair and efficient one.
Of course that will not happen because as it is now, people who drives the system needs to defend and justify for their existance. This very well covers the fact that no matter how wrong or screw up the system is, they would jolly well ensure it looks perfectly awesome and better still, a work of their miracle to everyone who is as equally stupid or gullible.
I guess I have said it all, they way I want to say. Of course I have more to add if time permits. It is of course that at 12.40am, I need to take my brains off the thinking cap and give it a rest for tomorrow.
It would be a long day. Including a farewell dinner which will be hosted by yours truly.
So there, despite the protest and crying out murder, I am still working my ass off, as if, to much extend, I own the bloody Bank. I sure deserve better than this I tell you...
Well... many. Of course, to over shadow everything, work again has taken the centre stage. And as usual, I have said it over and again that work has a lot say in my life and the very fact that it does, I am in perpetual denial.
For the past 6 months in this job, I have had countless number of time being told off for the mistakes of my team. Over and again, matter over matter. While I am not denying that the team is as young as those green bamboo shoots, the Bank has its limited tolerance over inexperience, mistakes and mediocracy.
And I'm tired. I'm tired that I have to face the music from my Boss everytime it happens. In fact, I'm sick with the notion that my Boss has this thought that I'm not good enough for the job and therefore, I will be stuck in this rut as long as there is no improvement to the deliverables.
I despise this. I despise the entire notion of this. And as of 7 July, I vow to have a grip of everything that I could and everyone that works with me will have to go through the motion of being meticulous and demanding. Regardless.
Just when this happens, my entire spectrum of view changed. I start picking all kinds of inadequacy and inefficiency. I start pushing. I start pressuring. I start demanding. I even start to get back the mojo I lost ever since I came to Risk.
I supposedly feel enough is enough. It is time.
For many things.
It is a turning point for me to continue my journey and to seek opportunity where doors are open for me. But only that and if it is a job that I am looking for, with the right pay and right work environment. I have come to a point in my life where I do not want to do anything that waste my time. Including getting into another job just to run away from matters, people or events. I realised quitting for such reason will not bring me anywhere and most often than not, will bring one into circles of confusion and dissatisfaciton.
And so, I have decided it is the time I start looking out and get the right one now.
This turning point has nothing to do with money but a utter push factor over how the system works in my Bank. I view the system to be short changing me in many ways but I will not sweat overly over this. I just need to continue my journey and move on to real greener pastures, the way I want it to be.
And I strive to believe, in this world where it is round, there will always be fairness to those falling short. Somehow. And with that, I strongly believe my time will come. So long I am true to myself and the work I do.
At the same time, I have come to a point where I don't need people to tell me anymore, what I can do, can't do, should do or should not do. I know myself better than anyone else who thinks they do. In short, I don't appreciate unwelcome advice. If I need one, I'll call out, as usual.
It is just that, I realised, people who advice me about my career growth are often laying it in accordance to their career plan just so, I am, to some extend is of a help to their career. It is all about them.
And so, I have enough of this. I just want to tell people to shut the hell up about telling me how I should develop myself or tell me things I already know. For once, shut up and let me for once steer my path.
I mean, at 35, who am I kidding? And better still, who are they kidding?
Well so much for this piece today. My very clear thoughts about my current career as so clear that anyone could se the sea bed 12 feet under.
After all said, I am surprise that I hold no anger or grudge over anyone for the unfairness. I just an utterly dissapointed as I have stated earlier that the system is a total piece of crap which honestly, should be replaced with a more fair and efficient one.
Of course that will not happen because as it is now, people who drives the system needs to defend and justify for their existance. This very well covers the fact that no matter how wrong or screw up the system is, they would jolly well ensure it looks perfectly awesome and better still, a work of their miracle to everyone who is as equally stupid or gullible.
I guess I have said it all, they way I want to say. Of course I have more to add if time permits. It is of course that at 12.40am, I need to take my brains off the thinking cap and give it a rest for tomorrow.
It would be a long day. Including a farewell dinner which will be hosted by yours truly.
So there, despite the protest and crying out murder, I am still working my ass off, as if, to much extend, I own the bloody Bank. I sure deserve better than this I tell you...
