Finally, I have got a short breather before I rush myself to the hairdresser to get some unruly, ruly. Well, so much for being a 'lady' or rather, try to be a 'lady'. I have to say, there is a lot of effort required to look prim. I have not even touched on proper!
I got up at 7am, left home at 7.45am and rushed for work but believe me not, I reached work at 8.35am. The amount of time we spent in the jam is crazy. Imagine the number of winks someone can get. Literally, I can even finish 6-7km of run for that amount of time. Even have a complete dinner for that time spent!
So, as a consolation, I am in view that we should at least get a nice car within our means so as to dampen the pathetic state of being stuck in the jam. I mean, it does make sense right?
I have had several views on several things and I guess, I do feel like stating it today. One of those moods.
I started off 9am with a presentation on my portfolio to the new business boss. It went reasonably well as I don't see any issues. However, as I was presenting, I had several reports on the table, in case, I'm asked, I have references. But conveniently, this immediate boss of mine took the report and made it his.
At 10.30am right after the presentation, I have totally no point of reference for my conference-call. I was scrambling to search that 40-50 odd pager deck and it was no where in sight. Simple, because it was taken. And since I was late for the con-call, I went in empty handed.
I mean, imagine if someone were to pop a question on my portfolio and I had no point of reference what so ever? What would people think of this supposedly Risk Manager? She must be sleeping on the job.
My point here is, this is the repercussion of a person who does not take heed of the things around them and in anyway is well organized. People just don't conveniently take the things from comfort / private zone of the other person during meetings because it does affect the person's job some way or rather.
When I asked him to return it, he was adamant it was his. I highlighted that the deck does not contain info on this product because it contains those of my concern, which he then realized, that deck certainly did not belonged to him. Plus, missing pages on this portfolio will not do. However, I still refuse to return me because he said he has made notes in it and so, being his usual self, taking everything for granted. He does expect me to re-print another copy for myself.
I mean, honestly, it is one of the most selfish and irresponsible attitude I can say. Though to some people this is petty, I for one, do not take such work etiquette lightly because it effects the 'other' person in quite a significantly manner. For him to think, it is nothing but just re-printing, which in my petty opinion is plain shallow.
Well, that is just some bitching about work today.
A lot of people that happened to pass by my life has lamented and think I am such a mainstream character. It doesn't spark any reaction from me but I do wish people would take some time to know me better so that they would know I have far more than they think I am. Maybe to much extend, I believe, people generally thinks I am pretty dumb. Probably it is because I have this attitude of zero uptightness when one speaks to me. Unless, I am rushing for an urgent dateline and my boss is pressuring me to get numbers perfected in a short span of time, I'm never caught uptight.
I personally think to be a lady that people take seriously {as in someone with some brains}, it is not easy. More so when people see, a girl without a serious attitude during casual moments coupled with fairly decent looks {hold on, I am not attesting that I am in the looks department, just that I am sure I don’t consider myself ugly}.
Most times, while I can afford to lavish myself with good stuff, people often think it is from a man. It has to be, they think. It would never occur to people that this person here, has worked evenly hard with the rest of the men in her playing field to be deserving a space in the office.
Just so standard. Just so funny.
Also, there are instances where when people know I have such capability, they start thinking that I am all out for the money, power and status. At the same time, they generalize me with the norm that once I am here, I can't possibly let it go no matter what.
Generalization.
I have come to a point that I no longer chase. No chasing waterfalls. No chasing rainbows. No chasing for that pot of gold. I am putting meaning to my life. And so, I try hard to put passion into the things I do. The food I eat. The place I live. The things I do. The words I say. The thoughts I have. The place I work. Generally everything.
Because while I was busy chasing in my 20s, I have come to realized, the act of chasing fails marking my life. Though of course, it does bring me somewhere in my job, it doesn't however make significant marks. Like, I barely remember significant milestones in my supposedly career 5 years back. All I could remember was, I worked long hours, I am really frustrated 70% of the time but I gobbled it all up for the sake of money, I just do everything and anything that was put on my plate without protest, and I literally gave my life away to my job for money.
It's just short of saying, I sold my soul to the devil for money.
But I have no regrets.
It did bring me somewhere. And I did managed to prove a point that if anything is about money, anyone in this world will be able to attain it. It is just a matter of working very hard and be generally, very committed to the thing they were doing without any attitude. That is all.
And now I am done, it's time, I put meaning to my life. Ride the moments and cherish them. It just applies to everything. My job. My love. My relationship with people. My passions. My life.
Plus, I will never ever die for money. If I were to compromise, I would quit my job. Period. And I would still be happy about it. Simply because I do not need to be here where I am with this lifestyle just to be happy.
As I was saying, I can live by cycling around on my bicycle, wearing flip flops, bikinis as my undies, shorts and singlets. Along with ponytails and caps. I'm simply happy with such.
But the question is, if I can, then why in the world am I living the lifestyle?
Well… all because I have worked hard for it and I think I ought to give myself the pat on the shoulder and enjoy the fruits to my labor. Simple.
Alrighty, I'm done talking. Enough said. I think I have gotten my point across. Enough… *wink*
